Lily Luna's World
by thegirlofcrazy
Summary: The story of Lily, youngest child of Harry and Ginny as she starts at Hogwarts and grows up, making friends and enemies along the way. Collab with my friend; Next gen- mainly OC's; many POV's; humor, friendship, randomness.
1. The Names & the Train

**OK wonderful people of the vast internet. Wherever you live, whatever you are ****supposed to be doing, this is for you. It is a work of a Sunday afternoon (but will probably take a lot longer.) This is written by me and my buddy, Kit-Kat and is hereby dedicated to her. We will send it back and forth across the internet, and we will treasure it for ever and ever and ever. However, Kit-Kat, you have officially been signed up for the role of unpaid Spell Check (as you are better than the computer!)**

**But anyways, this is for all of you (or at least those of you who bother to review!)**

**Chapter 1- Lily's First Day.**

**LPOV**

The noise of the passengers pushing past me had always been loud, but this time I wasn't listening. I half-ran through the crowds, desperate to get on to the train immediately. I'd left my family as they unloaded the car, I'd just wanted to see the scarlet train, to really believe that today I would be going… to Hogwarts.

I burst through the wall cheerfully, took one look around, and then began my happy dance, squealing with joy. I saw my cousins with their parents, and I ran over to where Hugo stood, practically wetting his pants with excitement. We jumped up and down together, as my family came to join us.

"Hello, Lily," my aunt Hermione smiled at me welcomingly.

"Hi!" I grinned; I hadn't seen my cousins or their parents for weeks - they'd gone to America to watch Quidditch. I giggled at the ridiculous tee-shirts that both my uncle and Hugo were wearing- bright pink with rainbow unicorns (the American mascot).

My mother took one look at the clothes that her brother was wearing, and doubled over laughing, whilst my dad tutted and shook his head; he had never liked the American team, not after they'd stolen his broom and pelted him with dung-bombs. My brothers laughed too, before going off to find their friends.

"Hey, Harry! Do you remember that time when the American team beat you in that World Cup Quidditch final?" Another of my uncles, George arrived, sporting a fluorescent-orange shirt with the logo of his shop on the front. He grinned cheekily, his arm around his wife, Angelina.

My dad scowled; he hated being reminded about that.

The train whistle blew, and instantly I grabbed my bags, the cage of my cat, Kit-Kat, and said my goodbyes. I jumped onto the train and waved goodbye, as the train slowly moved away from the platform, which began to grow smaller and smaller in the distance.

It was quite a while after my family had disappeared from view that I realised that I did not have anywhere to sit.

I wandered up and down the long corridor, looking desperately for somewhere to dump my heavy trunk and cage. There were no empty places, and all of the rooms were filled. My brothers and cousins had dispersed, and Hugo was nowhere to be seen.

I was nearly at the front of the train, when I finally came across an empty seat, in a carriage with only three other occupants. I slid open the door, and put my stuff in the luggage rack. It was quiet in the small space, and everyone was sitting as far away from each other as possible in its confinement. I sat in an empty seat in the corner, and surveyed the other passengers.

By the window sat a girl with stunning Bubble-gum pink hair in a spiky bob. She had alarming blue eyes, that took up most of her face, and gave her a startled 'doe-caught-in-the-headlights' look. She had a button nose, and a very big mouth, that looked the kind to belong to someone with a very chatty nature.

Opposite her was a boy with very curly hair. It was a toffee sort of colour, and the long curls fell into his face, where hazel eyes showed through freckled skin.

Another boy, the final other occupant of the carriage, had short black hair, carefully gelled into spikes that haloed his dark face with its grey eyes.

They were all faced away from each other, but none of them seemed to be doing anything, just sitting there. I suddenly wished that I had bought a book from my large collection; this looked sure to be a long journey. I didn't particularly want to sit here, but I couldn't go and find my family, as they would probably not appreciate my company, lest I embarrass them.

I tapped my fingers against my leg absentmindedly, staring at the plain walls of the carriage. Du De Dum Da Do… I was already bored out of my small mind, and this seemed to be taking forever; the trees passing by the window seemed to be passing like snails (or Humplegriffiotic Mangmas).

I looked at the other people in the carriage again. They looked as bored as me, if that was even possible. _Ten more minutes of this and I will scream! _My thoughts were drastic, even by my standards.

"Who else in here is ready to slit their wrists right about now?" The bubble-gum head spoke first, and I was surprised (and pleased) to say that she didn't style her hair on her favourite food. I was also relieved to not have to be the first one to break the awkward silence that we had slid into. I grinned, and replied.

"Pretty much, right about now." She smiled back, and I laughed.

"I'm Aqua Davies by the way," she said, standing up and shaking my hand. I almost burst into laughter at her ridiculous name; this girl with the bubble-gum pink hair was called Aqua, in other words, water, which is blue.

"Lily Luna Potter," I said, using my full name for no apparent reason. I looked at the boys, they had become alert when we had started talking, and now, one of them, the dark-haired one, stood up and extended his hand to me.

"Space Junior Johnson," He said, grinning cheerfully and shaking my hand very flamboyantly. "But if you dare laugh I will stab you with my wand."

"All right then." I said, just as the lady with the food trolley came round. I grabbed a pumpkin pasties and a couple of packets of Bertie Botts Every Flavour Beans and sat down. The other boy came over to say hello.

"Hey," he said, smiling at me, his hazel eyes twinkling. "Greenlee Parker, but you can call me Green."

"Hi," I replied, smiling back at him before sitting back down. This time though, the room wasn't silent.

"Is it just me," said Aqua. "Or do we all have really weird names?"

"No!" said Space, imitating mock shock and surprise. "I thought we had really normal names!" He grinned, Aqua scowled.

"No, I mean, not many people are named Space or Greenlee."

"I know what you mean!" I replied, nodding my head, and sending my ginger curls whipping round.

"Yeah, I've always been teased for my name. I often wonder what the flip my parents were thinking when they named me Greenlee." Greenlee laughed at the memory.

"Well I was named after my grandfather, Space Johnson the third. I'm the fifth 'Space' in our family; all the men have been named it for generations." We all laughed then, trying to imagine an old man named Space. "I hate it though, it's so embarrassing!"

"I agree," Green said, nodding. "Even the name Green is awful."

"We could come up with nicknames for each other," I suggested. "So we don't have to use our real names, not that I really mind…"

"Yeah!" Aqua shouted, jumping up and instantly commandeering the entire conversation. "We could have nicknames that reflect our personalities!" She looked us down and then pointed at Green. "You!" She shouted. "What do you like?"

"Well, I don't know… I like meeting new people, I guess…" Was it just me or did his eyes flicker to me when he said that?

"Well, you seem king of charming so… Hmm…" She trailed off, thinking, then pointed at Space. "What do you enjoy doing?"

"Um… Well, I like pranking people, making people laugh…"

"OK," Aqua grinned, then pointed at me. I gulped. What did I like? Books I guess; I had always been very into reading.

"Books, I suppose, and reading." She smiled, and I looked at her pointedly. What was she? She definitely looked like the type to love gossip, but be really good at keeping secrets, comforting you when you are sad. She was without a doubt, chatty.

"Well, I have an idea for you." I said hesitantly. "You could be Chatty."

She grinned and laughed, jumping up and down, her pink hair flashing around dementedly. "I love it!" She shouted, and ran forwards to hug me. "And you are so Clever!" I grinned back. Great, this crazy witch was infectious.

"Thanks," I replied, then looked at the other two boys. _Hmmm…_"Well, you could be Charming," I said, pointing at Green, "and you are definitely Cheeky!" I finished, looking at Space. They both looked at me like I was mad, and then simultaneously grinned.

"Cool!" Green yelled, or should I say Charming?

"Well now that's settled…" Chatty said. "Which house do all of you want to be in?" A round of Griffindor's responded, and she smiled. "Really? Me Fourth!"

We laughed, and then spent the rest of the journey discussing our families, our homes, everything really. I was surprised that none of them really said much about me being the daughter of the Boy Who Lived, and of a player for the Holy-Head Harpies; in fact, they didn't say much about it at all.

It was only as the train was pulling into the station that we realised that we had not changed into our robes yet, as absorbed as we were in our various discussions. I remembered suddenly what was to come - the boat ride across the lake, the sorting ceremony. As we hurriedly pulled on our new robes, I hoped desperately that I would be placed with my new friends; already I didn't want to be split from them.

**Yes! All done! Yay! Yay! **

**Now, on a more personal note… REVIEW! Kit-Kat is suffering from a permanent cancer (allright! Cough- there happy?) , so I am writing this for her. **


	2. The Sorting & the Lake

**Thank you kindly to the reviewers of this story! But remember, this button is supposed to be pressed. SO PRESS IT!**

**Chapter 2- The Sorting**** and the Lake**

The hat had slipped down past my eyes and ears, so I could not see the jeering crowd, which stretched ahead of me. The long hall was dark and creepy, with long tables covered in un-appetising slop on metal plates. That did not mean that I was not terrified. I could still hear them, and that was much, much worse. I could swear that they had never sounded this menacing for anybody else. Nor had it taken quite this long…

"Hufflepuff," it eventually concluded, and was yanked unceremoniously off my head. I looked around in horror. Slytherin is usually people's first choice on their "don't want to go there" list; however, I knew I wouldn't be placed there. But Hufflepuff? The house of rejects, for those who wouldn't get into any of the others. At least, that was the way I saw it. It was the ultimate disappointment. The entire hall resounded with boos and mocking catcalls.

I hesitantly made my way to the table, thankful that I was out of the mob's main attention. I was greeted by angry, hostile glares. One person raised their glass, and hurled it at my head…

…My nightmare was cut short by a splash of water from Sp- Cheeky's oar. "I don't see how you can sleep in this!" Chatty exclaimed, struggling to be heard over the roaring wind.

"You certainly wouldn't be if you were rowing this thing," Charming groaned, wearily heaving his oar out of the lake. He was still grinning at me though, so I guessed he wasn't too bothered about my lack of hard work. Chatty had been entrusted with the lantern, but I was sitting in the back of the boat doing nothing (except maybe sleeping).

"I was up late last night. Too excited." I replied. "And it is very lucky for all of us that I am not rowing. For one thing, we would all be unconscious, not just me, and secondly, we would probably all be at the bottom of the lake by now too. Instead of just one of us," I gave an exasperated sigh as Cheeky tumbled overboard. Chatty rolled her eyes, grabbed his soaking hand, and hauled the sopping wet boy back into the boat. He shivered, teeth chattering. Chatty handed me the lantern, and took Cheeky's place at the oar.

"Look!" I whispered, for no other voice would be appropriate for such a momentous occasion. "Hogwarts!"

We gazed in matching awe and delight at the massive structure that towered above us. Its towers and turrets were huge, and it glowed with the light coming from the windows were candles stood. I instantly looked out for the features I had read about, or had my older brothers tell me about. I couldn't speak, and I could sense from the others in the boat that they felt the same. Chatty instantly silenced, and nearly dropped the oar she was holding. The black, smooth water stretched up to the glorious castle, and I suddenly felt incredibly exited. I instantly forgot all my worries and fears, and I couldn't believe I was here, finally following my family to Hogwarts.

Chatty was the first one to speak again, exclaiming in three words the emotions that we were all feeling. "Oh My God!" She cried, squealing and bouncing around in her seat. "We're here! We're here!" She cried, and this time she did drop the oar, and it floated just above the surface as she continued to show her absolute amazement at the new school.

Cheeky stretched out his hand, still trembling with cold, to the water, and reached out to grab the oar. He had just touched the end of the wooden stick when a slimy tentacle reached out and snacked round his wrist. "Aaargh!" He screamed, dropping the end of the oar and jumping back in the boat. Only, the boat wasn't big enough for this sudden movement, and our boat was flipping over and we found ourselves in the icy cold water.

Chatty and I instantly screamed as the boat flipped, and as all of us were thrown into the water. The boat drifted away, and I instantly felt grateful for the swimming lessons I'd had; standing was impossible in this massive lake, which stretched below us for miles.

My mind instantly remembered all the things I knew about the lake. The depths of it were filled with all sorts of creatures and all sorts of pond-life. Mer-people lived somewhere in here, and I remembered some of the stories my dad had told me; about his task in the Tri-Wizard tournament. I grinned despite myself, as I paddled, trying o keep myself afloat.

Charming was carrying out a strange sort of dance in the water; he would go under, stay down for a bit, then resurface, wave his arms, and repeat. I was going to ask what he was doing, when a long tentacle grabbed my foot, and I found myself dragged under, deeper into the icy water. I screamed silently as the water plunged round me, and I had a glimpse of the area around me. Sea-weed and other plants covered the miles of underwater-depth, and the black shapes fanned my arms and legs. My heavy robes pulled me down, but none of these things made me scared. What made me scared, was the creature that looked at me. One tentacle arm (or maybe leg) wrapped around my feet, whilst another snaked round Charming's waist. Two more were heading towards our friends, their shapeless legs visible through the life around us. I couldn't breath, already I felt like I was going to drown.

I was terrified, and I began to panic. My wand was hidden in a pocket of my robes, and if I could just reach it… But it was no use! I knew nothing at all to help me, and I was already ready for anything.

Maybe it, whatever it was, wouldn't eat me. Maybe it would just drown us. Who knew…?

There was no light above us, only darkness. I could see the shadows caused by the boats, and the legs of my new friends.

It looked like I would never even make it into the Hall for the sorting. I was about to give up hope, when a bright light broke through the darkness, and a huge shape lifted me up, into the light.

Maybe this was heaven. Maybe I was dead already, drowning from my lack of oxygen.

But it was not to be. The huge shape lifted me up, along with Charming, and placed us at the bottom of a large boat. I spat out the water in my mouth, and took a deep breath. I was freezing, but instantly I found myself colder as a small shape bumped into me, hugging me tightly, stopping my breath again. Chatty hugged me tightly, tears streaming down her face. Her bubblegum pink hair was wet and tickled my face. I sneezed loudly, frozen with the cold.

"Let 'er breathe there." The huge shape came and wrapped a towel round me. I was shivering and sneezing simultaneously. Hagrid pulled me up and shook my hand with one of his massive ones. "Lily Potter ain't it? Well I remember your parents and your brothers before yeh. I'm Hagrid."

****

Chatty was beyond nervous, and well on her way to somewhere closer to being about to have a heart attack. She was shaking violently, and I knew it wasn't because she was cold after the incident of the giant squid.

"Hey, it could be worse," Cheeky commented jokingly. "You could be Aqua Aardvark." She scowled, and gave him a playful wet and bedraggled slap on the cheek.

"Aardvark, Aqua" called Professor Longbottom, the teacher of Herbology and the Deputy Head. Charming and I turned to stare at Cheeky, while he and Chatty both wore equal masks of bewilderment and horror. "Yes, you over there who had the accident with the hair dye spell." The crowd by this point was in hysterics. Chatty was just very, very embarrassed.

Chatty's jaw just dropped even lower, but eventually she managed to draw up the courage to timidly say: "But I'm Aqua Davies, Professor!" then, as a whispered aside to the rest of us, "and it's naturally that colour." The teacher looked rather flustered for a minute, but then composed herself once more, and indicated that Aqua should come up anyway. Strange, but even after so short a time, I felt odd using her real name.

After an agitated 2 milliseconds, Chatty was placed in Gryffindor. I was extremely happy for my friend, but then the realisation came crashing down on me that this would just make it even worse when I was dumped in Hufflepuff.

The same happened for Cheeky, albeit it took a little longer for the hat to adjust to the size of his head (his hair had now begun to dry out, and it was insane!). As Charming went to leave, I wished him good luck, but he caught the dejected look on my face. "Don't worry," he whispered soothingly. "There is no way that you won't get into Gryffindor." I thanked him for his support, but wished that I could be as optimistic about my forthcoming doom as him. I think I really would just get back on the train again if I was put in Hufflepuff. Although that would hurt some people, so I guess I would bear it for them.

'Parker, Greenlee' was placed in Gryffindor, and my fateful name was called. I hoped that Potter was a common enough surname – I dreaded to think what it would be like for me if people knew about my parentage. Especially if I was in Hufflepuff.

Oh well, I decided. I might as well get this over and done with. The suspense was almost worse. No. It wasn't. Hufflepuff was definitely worse than any kind of suspense. I made my way tentatively to the front of the great hall. It was just as in my nightmare. The hat had slipped down past my eyes and ears, so I could not see the jeering crowd. That did not mean that I was not terrified. I could still hear them, and that was much, much worse. I could swear that they had never sounded this menacing for anybody else. Nor had it taken quite this long…

"Huf-" it eventually concluded. I moaned in horror. I was fairly sure I'd gone into shock. This wasn't even some dream this time. It was the real thing. I was doomed!

While all these crazy thoughts were fighting to take control over my head, the hat began to chuckle quietly. "Just joking!" it grinned ( if a hat can do such a thing). What! A hat with a sense of humour! That was all some JOKE! Stupid tatty old piece of cloth! Then I realised that this thing had complete control over my future for the next 7 years…no wait, for more than that. My house would affect my entire life. So I decided to start playing nice to the hat. "Don't worry," it whispered in my ear, "I've had enough fun now. You are a very internally troubled person. Gryffindor!"

The last word became a shout, as he announced the good news to the rest of the hall. Relief flooded through me as I practically skipped to the Gryffindor table. I sat down with glee next to Charming, with Chatty and Cheeky the other side of the table. Instead of the boos and mocking catcalls, I was greeted with cheers, and my brothers, cousins, and many people I had never met before came over to congratulate me. They were all just so friendly.

Not long after, Hugo came to join our table, and then my day was complete. And what a tiring day it had been. Charming kept having to poke me to avoid me falling asleep in my dinner, and I was barely aware of anything else that went on until I slipped into bed. And even then I wasn't for long, as about half a millisecond later I was fast asleep.


	3. First Impressions & Heroic Deeds

**Ok wonderful people. I am sorry for the repetitive emails. I kept making mistakes when I uploaded the story, and I had to take off the chapter and replace it dozens of times. Sorry! This story, as you know, is about Lily Luna's life. The past two chapters have been her POV, but I think you are going to see a few more points of view, coming up soon…**

**Chapter 3- First Impressions and Heroic Deeds.**

**Aqua's POV**

It was still dark when I woke up. I was tired, probably because I hadn't had much sleep at all last night. I'd been excited, happy, tired and nervous. I wanted to make a good impression on my first proper day, and I was incredibly glad that I had some people to talk to. I was very happy with my new friends, and with my nickname.

First impressions have always been important to me. I know that you aren't supposed to judge a book by its cover and all that, but the thing is; most people do. It is easy to change someone's mind, if they take the wrong impression of you, but why bother? Why not make a good impression with everyone and then make your friends that way?

But it's hard for me, especially due to my hair. Not that I don't like it, it's just that it always attracts attention (which can be good) but people always judge me by my hair, which I love. Pink is definitely my favourite colour.

But making a good impression on that train, when I quite frankly wasn't feeling my best, was hard. And tough. Hard and tough.

And it wasn't my fault. I come from a rather dysfunctional family; I have two siblings, one brother and one sister. My brother Indiana is in his third year. We don't get along at all, except for the times when our mum is in one of her 'my-husband-left-me-for-a-cheap-witch-in-Mexico' fazes. In those times, we all have to stay with her and make sure she doesn't do anything drastic, as that faze is usually followed by the 'Oh-my-god! I'm-a-single-mum-trying-to-raise-three-kids-on-a-hairdresser's-salary' faze.

It's not that she doesn't care about us, because she does, deeply in fact. It's just that she finds it hard. She has no magic, and the fact that her wizard husband left her for a witch with no compensation and three kids probably doesn't help. My dad, even after he married Sharron Cablinkski, always made time for us, to tell us about the world that we belonged to. He's alright my dad, but I hate that he has made my mum like this. Before he left, when I was just five, her life was a permanent rainbow. Now, the grey clouds have seeped in long ago.

But anyway, back to my brother. Thankfully, we don't look at all alike. In fact, I don't look like any of my siblings, or my parents. My brother is tall and thin, with long, straight, indigo hair that always covers his face, and sea-blue eyes. We're not similar in personality either. He's dark and moody mostly. He can be ok to be around, and is sometimes a good big brother. He's really annoyed at the moment, mainly because I'm going to Hogwarts, the one place he could be away from me.

My sister, Encyclopaedia is a year younger than me, and is very annoying, mad and evil. She's thin but short, and has a turquoise bob with black highlights and aquamarine eyes. She's really close to Indiana, and I don't think that he'd mind if he only had her as a sister.

So, back to my morning. It started off with Encyclopaedia stealing half the contents of my trunk (which I had already packed!) and playing dress up, then running around the house and causing me to lose half of my stuff. It took forever to find everything, by which point I came back to my room to find that it looked like a bomb had hit it, all my stuff was damaged. My mum completely forgot that we needed to go, and took forever getting ready and saying goodbye. We then got stuck in traffic and horribly lost when her short-cut blew up in our faces.

I was grateful when we eventually pulled up at the train station, and I managed to charge through the barrier and onto the platform with mere minutes to spare. I didn't even stop to say goodbye, just went on to the train and entered the first carriage I could.

But that day got better and better, once I made friends. I'd never had many friends at my primary school, as they all thought I was too talkative and weird. Talkative?! Talkative people are supposed to be surrounded by friends, and very popular, not loners. I hated my old school.

And now, a new fresh start. Almost a godsend really, to start all over.

I knew a lot about the school before I started: a bit of its history, what it looked like and I bit about the wizarding world. Diagon Alley was one of my favourite places that I had ever been to. It was amazing. Shops selling all sorts of magic things, from potions and charms to cauldrons and wands. My dad had taken me there shortly after I turned 11, and it was amazing. Even though I didn't get to actually go into all the shops, looking through the windows was fun enough.

So I had a trunk filled with custom made brand new robes, my wand in a back pocket of my old jeans. Piles of books and cauldrons and potions were in my trunk, and I moved them carefully lest they break. My mum's homemade ketchup sandwiches were shoved in a pocket, to be disposed of as soon as I got on the train. My dad had given me a large allowance for the train, remembering her atrocious cooking skills.

On top of my trunk there were two cages. In one sat my tiny snowy owl, Angel, in the other, Devil, my black kitten. He was sweet, but evil if you valued the life of any of your favourite things.

My dad wasn't there to wish me goodbye, and for that I was very annoyed. He wanted me to send him an owl after I was sorted. Yeah, like that was gonna happen. At least my mum cared enough to come.

I lay in bed remembering the day. The sun was just beginning to rise, the rosy glow setting the sky alight. I could hear birds tweeting and singing their morning song in the forbidden forest. I could hear the wind in the trees, by the Whomping Willow. It was a nice day.

I stayed there with my eyes peacefully closed until Clever woke up, on the bed next to me. She rubbed her eyes and stretched. We smiled at each other and talked while the other girls in our dorm slept on.

They were very different to us, and I was sure that they probably weren't the nicest of people. They had ignored us while we were getting ready for bed last night.

There were three of them, none of them the same either. Two of them- Jenna and Stephanie; were wearing face and eye masks, which made them look really stupid and funny. Another, Ellie, was curled up on the bed with the bed sheets wrapped around her. She looked like a mummified cat.

Clever and I were dressed before any of them had shown signs of life. We decided that it was late enough for us to be able to go and explore the castle.

We tiptoed down the stairs into the bright common room, laughing silently. Clever was listing places that we should go and look at, but I wasn't really listening.

"My brother, the oldest one, found a map in my dad's desk. It has all of the school on it and all the people in it. It's a magic map."

"Really?" I was listening now.

"Yeah! He was gonna use it for all sorts of stuff but…" She turned away.

"What?" I asked.

"I nicked it." She grinned. "James still thinks that it is hidden somewhere in the house, but…" She pulled a scrap of paper from her pocket and waved it at me.

"But it's blank." I said looking at it.

"Not when you do this." She took it back, pointed her wand at it and muttered something. "My brother worked out how to use it eventually and I heard."

I looked at the map grinning. It was amazing. It showed the entire school, all the people in it and more.

We carried on out of the common room, looking at the map; matching enchanted looks glowing on our faces.

"Where are you two ladies going?" A voice from behind us caused us to stop suddenly. We turned to see Cheeky, with Charming behind him. They were both dressed too, and grinning.

"Give us a heart attack why don't you?" I said sarcastically, glaring at them. "We were going exploring. Want to come?" They nodded and we all left the room, Charming holding the entrance open for us to get through. Clever smiled at him.

"Let's go!" shouted Cheeky, gesturing ahead as he marched off down the corridor. "To yonder land we proceed!"

"Err… Cheeky?" It was Clever who spoke. "It's this way." I grinned, laughing at his expression.

"Right." He muttered blushing, before stomping off down the corridor, the right way.

**Charming's POV (going back about 10 minutes**)

I awoke to Cheeky shaking me violently and yelling (ridiculously loudly) in my ear. I rolled over, and tried to get back to sleep. "5 more minutes!" I groaned.

"No!" he shouted back, while failing to put his hat on his foot. "Classes start in 3 minutes!"

"What?!!" I jerked upright, rubbing my eyes wearily. I blinked a few times, and waited for him to elaborate, while hurriedly searching for my school robes.

"My alarm clock didn't go off. I only just woke up." I dressed in a hurry, then charged down the stairs with him at my tail, not caring about the fact that I was wearing odd socks, my shirt was on inside out, my shoes were on the wrong feet, and my jumper was on back to front. I looked at my watch, checking how much time we had left until double Potions, our first class this gloomy Monday morning.

"Space Junior Johnson. I am about to personally throttle you." He gave me a slightly (well, very) bemused look. I glowered at him. "It is 5 o'clock in the morning." His jaw dropped, and he slapped himself on the forehead, probably making a mental note to kill that stupid alarm clock.

We were about to head back upstairs again to catch up on some of our lost sleep, and to smash the alarm clock of doom, when I heard a noise coming down the stairs from the girls' dormitory. I ducked, and grabbed Cheeky's collar so that we were both concealed behind a sofa.

It was Clever and Chatty, off on their own little adventure, without us, which I was slightly offended about. Cheeky seemed to be too, and burst out of hiding, pretending to be an angry teacher berating the bad pupils for wandering off on their own at night. Soon all burst out laughing, and we headed off into the unknown, with only Clever's map to guide us, all previous grudges forgotten (except for that alarm clock, which was still doomed to the fate of being smashed to pieces), and Cheeky spouting random Shakespeare quotes.

**Aqua's POV (once more)**

"What ho, my lords and ladies, let us gallop hence. Whither shall we now go, wherefore thou art enamoured unto thee?" Cheeky was still talking in Shakespearian. It was getting quite strange now.

"Erm…Cheeky?" Clever was looking at him in a slightly concerned manner. "Do you have any idea what you are talking about?" He shook his head, grinning manically. "Charming, is there any way that he might have been cursed with a talking in Shakespearian nonsense spell, 'cause I really hope he doesn't know what he's actually saying."

"Well…I may have had something to do with being very annoyed at him for waking me up at 5 A M, but I'm fairly sure I didn't cast any spells." Charming was looking confused and sheepish, staring at his feet.

"It is possible to accidentally cause magic without a wand or any incantations, especially when you are not yet used to wand-work. Any magic you have done before this will be silent, and often unintentional, and that may have been what happened here."

It seemed to be one of Clever's skills, that even though I was meant to be the chatty one, she had the ability to talk ridiculously fast for very long periods of time while saying stuff that sounded like complete gobbledegook to the rest of us but was probably completely true. She seemed to manage this even while cramming cold pizza into her mouth. (After 2 hours of wandering aimlessly around the castle corridors, we had found ourselves in the kitchens, where there were lots of very kind house-elves keen to cater for even the most ridiculous of breakfast requirements).

"Erm, Clever? What the flip did you just say?" I asked, picking at yet another slice of pizza with all the toppings. She had suggested this and it was surprisingly nice.

She sighed. "I meant that Charming here cast a spell on Cheeky without saying words or using a wand. This spell seems to make Cheeky talk in non-stop Shakespearean. We need to find out what the counter curse is." We all nodded, walking down the corridor, Cheeky still gabbling away at our side, and all of us stuffing our faces with the most delicious cake I had ever tasted (even if someone had accidentally tipped the entire bottle of blue food colouring into the icing).

"Whenceforth to Potions hie we shall, thence a vile gall shall us asunder." Cheeky's words weren't making any sense to me, though Clever seemed to be wincing with each one of them, meaning I guessed that she knew exactly what he was going on about, but probably didn't want to. But I did catch one word.

"Potions!" I yelled in a state of abject panic. "We're already 10 minutes late, and have no idea where it is!" There went my hope of making a good first impression. I was fairly sure Potions class was held in some dungeon or other, but that was probably the other side of the castle. I think I started hyperventilating.

Clever led the way, but about 5 minutes later we arrived at a junction, and stopped, all barrelling into each other like dominoes. My friend had a frustrated look on her face and was rotating the map in all the directions she could think of, but none of them seemed to satisfy her. She made a loud noise of irritation. Cheeky thought to ask one of the paintings hanging nearby. It was of a fat knight standing next to a pony (also slightly on the tubby side) that was far too small for him. He was incredibly unhelpful.

No, really. He smirked, then pointed in both directions. Fortunately, our saviour arrived in the form of a ghost, who came sauntering up, singing the Evil Star Wars theme tune to 'boing'. "You'sa looking for da way to you'sa nex'te lessins? Me'sa shows you'sa da way." He had definitely been watching too much Star Wars. The incredibly kind and helpful ghost pointed straight on, and so we continued that way for about 20 minutes, until Clever looked up from the map her nose had been stuck in with a pleased grin. Then her face fell.

"Well, the good news is that I know exactly where we are. The bad news is that we're on the wrong side of the castle. Jar-Jar Binks was pointing us in completely the wrong direction." I couldn't suppress a giggle. I guessed I wasn't the only one who thought that. But then the doom dawned on me, and I groaned.

"I guess we just have to go back that way as quickly as possible then." I sighed, and gave in to trooping dejectedly along corridors, with no idea where on earth I was going. At least I had Cheeky's random Shakespearian comments to cheer me up.

"Pray, marry, willst what thoust wouldst embellish ever be a wanton fiery steed of thine girdle." He stated with utmost sincerity. I could not help but burst out laughing. I wondered how our Potions teacher would take to our lateness, and Cheeky's inability to speak properly. Not too well, as I discovered 25 minutes later as we tried, and failed dismally, to creep silently into the classroom unnoticed.

"And what time to enter a lesson exactly do you call this? 20 points from Gryffindor each for your appalling lateness. You are an hour, A WHOLE HOUR, late for class. And detention for all four of you." he roared in fury, scaring us all nearly to death with his loud and angry voice.

I felt like crying. I hated making bad impressions on people, but standing here, still shaking, and looking at the irate man yelling at us for being a whole hour late for our lesson, it seemed like I'd made the worst job of it ever done. And we had detention! I had got a detention the moment I walked into my first class of the year. I struggled to suppress the tears that were seeping through my tightly closed eyes. This next hour was going to be terrible.

**Clever's POV**

I slumped in my seat next to Chatty. The teacher drawled on, setting extra homework on the first day. For once I didn't pay the slightest attention to the teacher or the lesson. I was sad, and worried about my parents' reaction to me getting a detention. My family would all have very mixed reactions. For sure, James would congratulate me, saying that I was following in his footsteps now, and wasn't going to turn into a clever book worm like everyone thought. I knew I was clever, and I knew that I enjoyed books and reading and knowing things. But I was more than a plain clever cat. I loved other things, like quidditch and family outings. And I enjoy all the pranks my brother plays!

My parents would be a bit disappointed in me. My family had had a long list of bets on how long my oldest brother would last before getting a detention, the first year he started here. And even he had lasted the first day! It was over a week before he got caught putting Dung Bombs in one of the teachers' office.

Albus would be the nicest about the whole thing. He was good with that, understanding things. He would hug me and tell me that it was all right. That it meant nothing.

I wiped the tears from my eyes and told myself that I was being silly. It wasn't as if they would kick me out of the house for getting into a bit of trouble! It meant nothing. It meant nothing.

_But what about all the house points that you've gone and lost? _The snide voice in my head whispered as I began taking down notes.

"As we were so rudely delayed, there will be no practical lesson today. You can all start taking down notes." The teacher commanded, having finished writing. The board was full. "You must all have a full copy of these notes before you leave." Many people groaned and began to hurriedly scribble things down. I dipped my quill in ink and began to write, pretending to ignore the death glares from some other students.

I looked at Cheeky's notes from the corner of my eye. It seemed to me that he was speaking and writing in Shakespearean, as all the notes seemed quite different from the ones of the board.

Chatty was writing hurriedly. Her eyes were slightly red from tears. She frowned and bit her quill as she hurried to get everything down. She wanted to make a better impression.

Charming was writing steadily, he smiled at me and mouthed the words "You OK?" I smiled back and nodded.

"No talking!" The teacher commanded, having come round the room towards where we all sat. He glared at us both until we turned back to our notes. I began to write again when I heard our teacher's voice from beside me. Chatty.

"Miss Davies, can you tell me what colour ink you are using?" He stared down at her work.

"Er… Purple, sir?" Chatty did not look up.

"Well get rid of it! I only accept blue or black ink on work in my class. You will write out your notes again, using Miss Potter's ink until you get yourself some new ink."

Chatty slumped back into her seat. "Yes sir." She whispered. A tear ran down her cheek. I smiled at her comfortingly. Poor Chatty. Being yelled at several times in class, in front of so many people!

I pushed my pot of ink closer to her, as she got a new piece of paper and began to make some notes in her swirly print. I carried on writing.

For a long while there was only the swish and scratch of pens moving across the page. No one spoke.

Gradually the classroom began to empty out, as those who had finished left, to brighter places.

I was finished faster than all my friends. Chatty was hurriedly scribbling, her writing becoming more and more illegible as she wrote.

Quickly, I took her piece of paper and swapped it for mine, and began to write the notes down faster.

Chatty smiled weakly. "Thank you." She mouthed. I nodded and carried on writing, the quicker for us to be out of here.

By the time we had all finished, the class was mostly empty.

Chatty, Cheeky and I were packed up and almost out the door, Cheeky saying something barmy about cruelty in Shakespearean, when we realised that Charming was behind us.

"One sec." He said, as he turned back to the professor's desk. We waited by the door, my hand on the cold doorknob.

I watched as he talked to the teacher quietly, trying to make out what they were saying. I could hear Charming's pleading, pleasant tone.

"What is he doing?" Chatty expressed our own thoughts, watching him with her glassy blue eyes.

Our teacher stood blank and mean throughout most of this conversation. Then, something changed. His features relaxed.

"Fine." He said, loudly enough for us to hear. He addressed us all as he began to speak again. "There will be no detention for you four, but if it happens again, there will be grave consequences. Do you hear me?" His tone was still ordering, but less angry than before.

"Yes sir." We muttered, trying to keep the grins of our faces.

He dismissed us, and we finally exited the classroom.

"Thank you!" Chatty cried, flinging her arms around Charming.

"Whilst effluence shalt encumber thy soul, thou art I'faith a stool." Cheeky said, patting Charming on the back.

We looked at him in confusion. "Even I don't understand that." I said, grinning.

We began to walk down the corridor.

"Thank you." I said to Charming, smiling. He grinned back.

"Charming's Heroic Deed." Cheeky announced to us.

And that time, we all understood.

**Please Review! **

**This chapter is dedicated to the people of hpfc, especially those who reviewed! Erik, Star, yellow and Lumi, I salute you. **

**You don't even need to know the whole story, but I am sorry for the wait between updating. Between losing my usb (with this on it) and holidays, it was pushed back. **

**As always, this was written with my friend, Kat, or titania took as she is known here. Thanks!**

**Ali **


	4. Hospital Wings & Traumatic Brooms

Chapter 4 – Hospital Wings and Traumatic Brooms

Clever's POV

Chatty was whistling dementedly as we meandered down the path to greenhouse 1. Herbology was our next lesson, and we were all hoping desperately that it didn't go as disastrously as our previous class. In our first lesson, we had arrived an hour late, lost 80 house points, and nearly gotten detention. Cheeky was still talking in Shakespearean, but his babble was getting more and more meaningless, for which I was relieved, as some of the stuff he had been saying before was just, well…

With luck this class would go better. Nev- no, I must remember to call him Professor Longbottom, taught it, so we should be fine.

"Good morning students. Today we will be learning about vernacular aranthosnaps. Can anybody tell me about them?" I raised my hand, resting my elbow on Charming's head. He shot me a look with a playful groan in it, but otherwise didn't seem to mind. His arm sat on Cheeky's shoulder, who shrugged it off angrily, at which point it found its way onto mine. I glared at him, but a smile was on my face. Chatty was struggling to suppress giggles. "Miss Davies?" At that she flushed bright red.

"Umm…?" I made frantic gestures towards the plant next to the professor while his back was turned. She seemed to get my message. "They're green, with… fangs?!!" At that she stepped back in shock. The plant had many tentacles with fanged Venus fly trap style jaws on the ends of them that snapped angrily at anything that came too close. It was kind of scary to look at. Albus used to keep one in his room, so I was used to watering and feeding them.

"Very good." He sounded sarcastic. I guess he'd noticed me then. Oh well. At least he had a pleasant sense of humour (instead of giving us detentions). "Would you care to elaborate, Miss Potter?"

"Vernacular aranthosnaps are creepers. The snappy bits are the seed pods, and when they see a new place to grow, they will detach themselves from the main plant and begin to grow another one. In this way the can spread very easily and quickly. It takes two months for a seed pod to reach maturity. The plant defends itself with the fanged seed pods, which are also venomous. This venom is used in many potions, including the draught of living death, but can also be used to cure hangovers, if taken in the correct dosage. If not, it is often fatal."

"Extremely well done. 20 points to Gryffindor for that perfect description. Now, today we will be collecting the seed pods. I hope you all have your dragon hide gloves, as you will need them. You may put your picked pods into the bowls which I am about to hand out."

Cheeky was looking worriedly around. Chatty groaned. He hadn't spoken yet, but that wouldn't have helped much with understanding his problem. She whacked him over the head with a pair of gloves. "You want them or not?" She asked.

The boy stepped back in terror, and somehow managed to get a coherent sentence out of his mouth. "B-bb-but they're…p-p-pp-pink!" She glowered at him.

"They're the only ones you're going to get, so I advise putting them on. You're very lucky I brought a spare pair at all." He sighed his unwilling thanks and reluctantly put them on. I grinned at Chatty. Her gloves were plain black.

We began depodding the plants. It was a lot harder than it looked, because as well as the fact that the pods bit, even after being picked, you also had to dodge the various other ones sneaking up on you. I twisted out of the way of a particularly long stalk and dropped my latest pod in a bowl, having great difficulty wrenching it off the end of my finger. Thank goodness for dragon-hide gloves.

"ARGH!!!" Someone screamed behind me. With all my usual clumsiness, I knocked the bowl over and the pods started hopping about the floor. Within seconds, complete and utter chaos had broken out.

"Umm…petrificus totalus?" I had been taught a few spells by Aunt Hermione before coming to school, and they usually worked. Aha. Yes. That seemed to stop the pods from snapping. I repeated the process with the others I could find. I had disabled about a dozen before I missed, and hit a black and white sneaker. Charming promptly fell backwards, unable to move, into one of the plants. I swore. Loudly.

10 minutes later, all was calm once more. Professor Longbottom had gone to fetch Hagrid, who then stunned all the plants with his umbrella, and rescued Charming, and Cheeky, who I had also accidentally knocked into a vernacular aranthosnap. They were fairly vicious, and I hoped we wouldn't have to deal with them again.

Aqua and I were currently being treated for minor bites, but fortunately not much poison, and sitting on the edge of a bed opposite the two boys, who both seemed to be in the wizard equivalent of intensive care. Madam Turpin was fussing over them, and muttering angrily about dangerous plants being unsuitable for first-years.

15 minutes after that, she came over to us once more. "You four must be the only people ever to have ended up in the hospital wing on their first day at school. Even your brother needed a month before he fell off his broomstick. Oh dear. You have flying class this afternoon. I hope not to see you again. You two go off to lunch now. The others will be back to class by tomorrow." With that she shooed us from the hospital wing, and we left, waving goodbye to our friends.

"Did she say flying class?" Chatty was looking decidedly nervous as we walked to the great hall for a lunch of chocolate spread sandwiches. I nodded, then explained all about quidditch. She was looking greener by the minute. It looked like she wasn't in for a great afternoon.

We sat down at our table.

"I feel ill," said Chatty, her head resting on the table. "I have a serious phobia of heights."

"But we're not even on the brooms yet." I replied, patting her on the back. She glowered at me before moaning some more.

"I'm going to die. I'm going to die." She repeated, ignoring the food. I, meanwhile, dug in.

I had sparsely taken a bite when James, followed by our cousin and his comrade Fred, sat down beside me on the bench.

"Hullo, sis." James said, taking one of my sandwiches.

I glowered at him, as he managed to finish off my lunch with less than five bites. Chatty had by now taken her head off the table and was rubbing her red eyes with her sleeve. You could sense her irritating need to make a good impression on anyone kicking in.

"James." I said curtly. "Don't you have someone else to go annoy?"

"Now, now." He teased, taking a cupcake from the tray in front of us. "Lickle Lilypop must remember that we have company. Lilypop must be good."

I hit him as he continued to grin.

He winked at Chatty. "And I don't believe I have been introduced to your friend. James Sirius Potter." He extended his hand.

"Chatty." She shook his hand once.

James laughed. "What kind of a name is that?"

Chatty blushed. "It's not." I said angrily. "It's her nickname."

"Doesn't seem all that fitting to me." Fred butted in, looking between us.

"Shut up." I said. "She's not feeling well, that is all."

The boys shrugged, and James turned to me again.

"So Lilypop, I heard about you almost getting a detention on your very first day. Mum and Dad would be very disappointed to hear about their youngest beating all previous records within hours of her arriving here."

I scowled.

"Records?" Chatty asked. "What do you mean?"

"I mean," said James, "Things like; first person to get a detention, biggest prank, most detentions in time here, etc etc." He grinned. "And Lilypop and her friends are right on the list. Bravo sis."

"Actually," I said. "We didn't get a detention. We got out of it."

"I salute you dear sister. Now, my fellow master mind, tell me how you did it." He faced me determinedly.

I protested. "We didn't do ANYTHING! We were just late and he is Evil."

"You know," James said, "You even beat our grandfather's record."

"What?" I said. "The dead one or the live one?"

"What do you thing?" He said rhetorically. "The live one never got detentions."

I shrugged. "What was their record?"

"Well, our grandfather and his friends got a detention on the second morning, so you beat them. Mum and Dad will be very proud."

I hit his arm, and he and Fred left laughing.

Chatty was staring at James, a curious expression on her face. I clicked my fingers in front of her face, and she blinked, turning to smile at me.

**Later- The anticipated Flying Lesson (aka the doom of mankind)**

**Chatty's POV**

Lily and I headed down to the Quidditch pitch along with the rest of our Gryffindor classmates, and the Slytherins.

Lily was talking to her cousin Hugo, who was small and incredibly ginger, like Lily. Maybe this ran in the family.

The other Gryffindors were very different, to put it lightly. There were two other boys in our year, both equally stupid and dull. I suppose maybe I was judging them too quickly, but as they walked and made ridiculous comments of the kind that James would find amusing. Jack Barns was the taller of the two, and had long black wavy hair, with piercing dark blue eyes. He was overconfident in his walk and in the way he boasted. He was followed by Mark O'Connor, who was small with short blonde hair and grey eyes. He winked at me as I passed, and I swear I nearly threw up my uneaten lunch. Instead I settled for an angry glare.

I instantly hated the girls. Maybe it was the fact that they were late to every lesson (OK, maybe not the first…) because they had a dire need to perfect their heavily over-applied makeup, or that their shrill giggling was killing my eardrums. But in any case, they were devil spawn if ever I saw it.

They weren't necessarily pretty, in fact they weren't at all. Ellie was small and dumpy, with the overly frizzy hair that so many detest. She wasn't ugly, but she had that "I try way way way to hard" look, as if she was really desperate to hang out with the 'pretty' crowd.

Jenna was the typical High School Queen, the one that is the most popular, albeit the most detestable person wherever she goes. She was tall, thin and pale, and her long black hair was perfectly straight. She was quickly followed by Stephanie, who was small and dark skinned, and seemed nicer than the others. She had dark hair and eyes, and she didn't seem to be wearing quite as much Miss Belle's Magic Sparkles as the rest.

"Right girls and boys," Madam Johnson yelled (necessary to be heard over the girls excited chatter about the latest advice from Witch Weekly on how to brighten up that lovely smile, something about powdered beetles, from what I could hear), placing an ominous-looking chest on the ground. It was rocking slightly, and there was a definite banging noise emanating from it. "Today, we will learn how to get on the broom. And off again, preferably safely."

I started hyperventilating. And I was still firmly on the ground. This was not going to be fun.

Lily came over and held my hand. "Don't worry." She said. "Hugo is scared of heights too."

I looked over to where her cousin was standing. True, he was looking rather shaky, but that could easily be due to his extreme proximity to the Slytherin equivalent to Jenna and co., even more terrifying.

"All stand by a broom." I with great difficulty made my way, one step at a time, to the least dangerous looking one. Why do people enjoy this? Flying around in the air with nothing but an enchanted stick keeping you from falling hundreds of feet to your certain doom. If we were meant to fly, we would have wings! As it is, we have some wood, a very small piece of it, that is incredibly easy to fall off. I had read the legend of Harry Potter. I knew how easy it is for even experts to fall off their brooms. And even he, the hero, usually obtained some king of nearly fatal injury. And there was no-one about to save me when I did fall off.

I panicked.

Severely.

**Ten minutes later, in the hospital wing.**

"WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT NOT WANTING TO SEE YOU AGAIN?" Madam Turpin yelled at Clever, who was sitting on the end of the bed I had been placed on.

This is what I opened my eyes to see. One crazy nurse, yelling furiously at my friend, who seemed to be suffering greatly from this, and two boys who seemed to be crying with laughter. Great, thanks.

"So, how long was it before you were knocked out by a bludger?" Cheeky inquired, struggling to form words through his giggles.

"Actually, she didn't even touch the broomstick." Clever too was having difficulty suppressing her laughter, as Madam Turpin stormed off to go and yell at several seventh years, who had apparently accidentally flushed one another's heads down the fourth floor toilet.

I glared. I did not like heights. That was not a reason to laugh. Although I had got out of leaving the ground at all, which was a good thing.

"Come on guys, she's had a traumatic time," said Charming, who miraculously wasn't actually laughing. I smiled at my saviour x3billion.

"Yes, it is really traumatic staring at a broomstick for two minutes," joked Cheeky, as he examined one of the black bruises on his arm. That earned him a glare.

It was the middle of the afternoon, and Clever and I had earned ourselves an excuse to miss the last of our lessons. FREEDOM!

Pleased with this, and the fact that I didn't have to worry about flying for awhile, I chatted to my friends.


	5. Random Books & Eewy Sandwiches

**DISCLAIMER: Katya and I are very sorry to say that we own none of HP and any of the quotes below. You'll see. We own Chatty, Charming and Cheeky and they are OURS. MINE. Go now and read. **

**Chapter 5- Random books and eewy sandwiches**

**Cheeky's POV**

It was Thursday, and nearly the end of the week. We were camped out in the common room after dinner, and Charming and I were attempting to finish the Transfiguration homework that was due tomorrow.

Clever had of course finished, and was turning my paper aeroplanes into origami pieces. Chatty was retelling a story she had read in one of her magazines, the Quibbler. She held a poker in one hand, and was toasting marshmallows over the fire. Little did she know that she was not going to eat these, because they would be stolen by either her cat, me, Charming or Clever, before she even realised that it was cooked.

Clever was attempting to charm her masterpieces into flying, a spell that she had mastered in one of our recent charms classes. It was nearly impossible for most of us, but Clever had found it simple.

Several of the paper Pegasi now fluttering about the room had taken up nesting in Charming's mess of curls, causing their creator many giggles. Charming's hair was all poofy on one side, a result of having lost his hairbrush, comb, styling tool and having slept on his potions books.

I looked at my paper. The work set was really difficult, and was taking way too long. I wasn't even half finished, and it was extremely late.

"Clev," I moaned. "PLEASE let me copy your work. I'll be here 'til Christmas if you don't."

She shook her head. "How will you learn anything then?"

I groaned. "PLEASE! I'll do anything!"

Clever laughed evilly. She thought for a minute. "You have to perform the balcony scene from Romeo and Juliet to Professor Macy, tomorrow morning at breakfast in front of the entire school."

They laughed.

"No." I said. "Anything but that."

Charming smiled. "What? You too scared?" He taunted.

"No. Hand me the book."

Clever pulled out her copy of the complete works of William Shakespeare, which she had been reading to us for days, complete with Scottish accents for most of the characters. She pointed to the page. "There you go. I assume you know how to read."

I scowled. "Now hand me the homework."

She did, but said seriously. "You have to do the performance. Pinkie swear?"

We shook hands, and I copied her work, before starting to learn the scene. Great. This was going to be so bad…

* * *

**The Next Morning, aka the performance of a lifetime. **

**The great hall. **

**Clever's POV**

I had always loved Shakespeare. I think the words are amazing, and brilliant and clever…. But this was going to be so good!

We entered the Great Hall together, and Cheeky was visibly shaking. Violently.

"This is worse than the time I had to make a speech at my sister's wedding."

"Which sister?" Charming asked.

"Duh! The oldest one!" Cheeky exclaimed.

From what we had heard, Cheeky had six sisters, ranging from 7-19. Three of them, Venus, Stella and Moon, were already in the school. Venus was a 5th year Ravenclaw, and Stella and Lyra (the twins) were 3rd year Hufflepuffs.

To put it lightly, Cheeky had a big family.

We observed the busy breakfast scene, before making our way to the front of the hall, where we could get prime seats. We sat down, and Cheeky made his way to the front of the hall.

And it begins…

"Greetings Earthlings! We are gathered here today to witness the joining in holy matrimony of- Wait, that's not it. Hmm…" he reached into his pocket and retrieved the book. "In a hole in the ground, there lived a hobbit- no, not that either." There was a short pause while he floundered, searching for the correct book. "I'd never given much thought to how I would die- What's twilight doing in my pocket?" Onto the next book. "Mr and Mrs Dursley, of number 4, Privet Drive were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much- no. Definitely not that. Er… Live long and prosper!"

Tired of this (slightly amusing) act, I strode over and handed him the correct book, which he had dropped earlier.

Then he began to read, addressing our Transfiguration teacher, Professor Macy.

"But, soft! What light through yonder window breaks? It is the east, and Juliet is the sun! Arise fair sun, and kill the envious moon, who is already sick and pale with grief," You had to admit, when he spoke, Cheeky was a great actor.

"Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo?" The transfiguration teacher quoted, and by now, the entire hall was silent, watching the display. "Deny thy father, and refuse thy name; Or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love, and I'll no longer be a Capulet."

Cheeky gulped, before continuing. "I take thee at thy word. Call me but love, and I'll be new baptis'd; Henceforth, I never will be Romeo."

This continued for a very long time. Admittedly, it was very amusing, and very entertaining.

"Oh wilt thou leave me so unsatisfied!" Cheeky cried.

"What satisfaction canst thou have tonight?" There was a chorus of giggles from the audience.

"Er… an excuse from homework?"

"And…. END SCENE!" Charming said, and starting clapping. Chatty and I joined in, and soon the whole hall was cheering and clapping as Cheeky bowed.

"Fifty points to Gryffindor for that excellent and inspiring performance!" the headmaster, Professor Wilters-Berger-Von-Campbell beamed.

Cheeky sank down into a seat opposite me. "God I hate my life." He moaned, before eating some waffles smothered in chocolate sauce.

Chatty patted him on the back, with a distant expression on her face. "I thought you were very good."

"You were," Charming agreed. "If there was a drama club, you could definitely perform."

"Hopefully not to my Transfiguration teacher in front of the entire school." Cheeky sighed. He scowled at me. "I hate you Clever."

I held up my hands. "What did I do?"

"I think I'd rather get a detention than have to do that ever again." He pushed the pancakes to the side. "I can't even eat."

"Oh My God." Chatty joked, checking his temperature. "Someone get the nurse! He's ill!"

I munched on my cereal, as they joked around.

And then she sat down.

Jenna slid into a seat beside me. Her eyes were fixed on Cheeky, and her claw like nails were sharp. I instantly remembered watching a wildlife show, with the protective mother, attacking her prey…

"I saw you up there with Professor Macy." She smiled. "I thought it was simply… Amazing." With one hand, she was twirling her hair, and I was hoping (praying) that her claw got stuck.

Cheeky blushed. "Er, thanks, I guess."

Jenna's eyelashes fluttered. "I was just thinking, how great it would be if you were performing to someone who isn't over 50."

Now that was unfair. Professor Macy was easily one of the youngest teachers, and was really nice!

Cheeky was utterly and completely oblivious to the fact that she was flirting shamelessly. So, I guess he was alright in saying what he said next.

"Well, Clev made me do it."

Jenna focused on me for the first time. "Oh really… Why?"

"It was just a dare. It didn't mean anything." I did my best to wriggle out of the situation.

She turned on Cheeky. "You shouldn't really let her force you around like that."

"She's just my friend." Said Cheeky.

"Friend." Jenna muttered, before stomping off, her cronies in tow.

"Well, isn't she just great?" Charming joked.

No, but she just might kill me.

* * *

**Later, Transfiguration**

_Professor Macy is still smiling at Cheeky. _Chatty's note read, as she passed it to me whilst we took down the work on the board.

_I know! It's kinda weird… (Clever)_

_Do you think she will go easy on him? (Chatty)_

_Probably not. Well, he isn't the best student. (Clever)_

_He just had to put SUPER SUPER sticky glue on the seat of her chair, didn't he? (Chatty)  
_

_Well, it is Cheeky. (Clever)_

_And it is funny! (Chatty)_

_How do you think she will react when she finds out? (Clever)  
_

_Two words. He= Dead. (Chatty)_

_Did he leave his glue behind like last time? (Clever)_

_No, I made sure of that. But she will know it is him. (Chatty)_

_Why did he do it anyway? (Clever)  
_

_Payback for the homework I guess. (Chatty)_

_Well bravo Cheeky. (Clever)_

_Will he make us bail him out of detention again? (Chatty)_

_Well, it is Cheeky. (Clever)_

_*laugh*(Chatty)_

_*slap*(Clever)_

_*silence*(Chatty)_

* * *

The bell rang, and we left the transfiguration room. Surprisingly, we didn't get any homework, and Cheeky was not even stopped, in spite of the fact that she clearly couldn't stand up. In fact he got something of a grin as he left, causing the rest of us to burst into spontaneous giggles the moment we were out of earshot.

I caught the back end of an angry glare from Jenna. She also appeared to have directed one at the Professor.

We headed towards our History of Magic classroom.

Professor Binns was really boring, but I knew that I had to take notes, or half of Gryffindor would fail.

We sat in our seats. Sadly, I had been placed in front of Jenna, which meant that a) she was going to glare, b) she was going to copy my work and c) she won't stop chucking paper at me! As I sat in the chair, I was bombarded by tiny paper missiles. OW!

I tried to ignore them. Honestly officer, I tried.

I took down the notes with one hand, as I sat on the other. I did not need to respond to their childish behaviour.

God, it was hard to concentrate when those missiles HURT!

Boring, Boring notes.

If I concentrated really hard, maybe I could make her go away.

But as it was, fate wouldn't let me get away with that. A paper bullet missed, and landed on my desk, in front of me. Jenna reached out to grab it again, and began to draw her hand back.

That was the point at which everything went into slow motion. Her eyes darted over to something, and a feral grin replaced the look of sour hatred on her face. He arm jerked sideways, and connected with the ink pot. Knocking it all over my notes.

THE ONLY NOTES THAT THE ENTIRE CLASS HAD WRITTEN THAT LESSON.

This meant no notes to revise from. To copy. And no-one else's would do, because they were all asleep. Charming was in fact snoring.

I screamed.

* * *

**15 minutes later, in the headmaster's office.**

"Well, that was a very impressive Bat Bogey Hex you put on her. It will sadden you to know that Miss Roberts is in the hospital wing, and recovering quite well. Madam Turpin sends her regards, but warns you that if she sees you once more this term, you are in trouble, and confined to your dormitory for the rest of the year, including if you somehow manage to injure yourself there also, in which case she will take no responsibility for such an event."

I gave him my best "innocent" look. It wasn't my fault I was so clumsy that I had sprained an ankle hexing that vile girl. Although I seemed to be excused from detention, I hoped.

"Unfortunately, due to the nature of your visit, the rules state that you must be given a detention, however good you spell might be for a student on their 5th day of school. I am sure you had a good reason, which is why the other young lady involved will also receive a detention. I must also award you 30 house points for that extremely skilful spell."

"Can't my reward be not having a detention with Jenna?" I begged.

"Well, we do have to make it look like we're punishing you. And hexing another student is a very bad thing." I groaned, and resigned myself to my fate. He was right, it was a fair punishment, and it could have been a lot, lot worse.

* * *

**Later, leaving the Headmaster's office**

I limped through the corridors, back to the common room. After History of Magic I had break, and that hadn't started yet. I guessed that I would just go and curl up in the dorm until I had to go to charms.

Limp, Limp, Limp. Why were the corridors so quiet?

Surely some people must be about, skiving off classes like the cool people they should be.

Where were the rebels? Where…

Damn, someone was coming.

HIDE

* * *

**5 minutes later**

Well I made it, and I was now lying on my bed with an ankle that is swollen and hurts.

And worse, there was a letter when I got back to the dorm.

From home.

_Dear Lily,_ it reads.

_How are you darling? Your father and I are well and the house is quiet without you or your brothers. We miss you lots._

_You know that your father and I are very proud of you and we are so pleased that you try your hardest to get the good grades and make us all prouder than we are. We were so pleased to find out that you have been placed in Gryffindor. Well done! We are glad that you have made friends, as you are a great person and loved by many._

_Your father and I were shocked however to hear that you got a detention on your very first morning, and that you managed to get to the Hospital Wing twice! I don't know what to think of this, and even though you are fine and well, we are shocked that you of all people got a detention and went to the hospital wing that many times. Lily, you are very sensible, and I am shocked that you would get into that kind of trouble. I am worried that your friends aren't the right ones for you, and I hope that they won't effect your actions. Don't give into Peer Pressure! Try and make friends with some of the other girls in your year, and there must be more in your dorm you can talk to. _

_If you need help, please talk to us, as we worry about you Lily Darling._

_Lots of love,_

_Mum_

Great, just what I needed. My mum was disappointed. I so didn't need that right now.

And I wouldn't make friends with JENNA! No way, no way, no way. NEVER!

* * *

**Later**

"There you are!" Chatty cried, barging into the dorm with her bag in one hand and a giant pretzel in the other. And I do mean giant. "We've been looking for you all over. Come on, let's go."

I smiled and she grabbed my hand. "How the hell did you do that hex? That was one of the best moments ever and she so deserved it." Chatty babbled as she helped me limp down the stairs.

"I can't remember when I learnt that spell." I replied.

"Still, it was amazing and you have to show me how to do it."

I shrugged.

"Anyway, what did the head say?"

I groaned, before repeating the conversation I had had with out head teacher.

"Poor you."

We met up with the boys in the common room. Being boys, they instantly began to praise my attack on Jenna, which made me feel very uncomfortable and embarrassed. I was kinda dead anyway. Jenna and co were going to kill me.

"It was bloody brilliant though! Who would've thought that Lily would have been the one to turn round in History of Magic and curse Jenna Roberts?" Cheeky cried.

"And twist her ankle in the process." I mumbled, limping.

"It was still really cool." Charming encouraged.

"Yeah, but I have a detention with the evil one, a twisted ankle and we don't have any notes from History of Magic! We're all going to fail because of me."

"Technically Jenna ruined the notes and you attacked her. So it wasn't your fault." Chatty patted me on the back.

"I still shouldn't have gone mad. My parent's are defiantly going to disinherit me this time." I stopped outside the classroom.

"What are you talking about?" Charming asked.

"They think that I should make new friends."

"What?" They asked.

I raised my eyebrows, before going into the classroom

* * *

**Later-**

**Charming's POV**

I chucked another note at Clev's head, but she ignored it and the ball of paper rolled under the desks and down the classroom.

Clever was deliberately ignoring us, simply taking notes and paying close attention to the teacher.

OK, so maybe that is not that different.

"Clever." I hissed. "Oi Clev!"

She turned round and shushed me. "I'll talk to you later." She whispered.

_Faze out and sleep_.

Twenty minutes later, and we were finally let out of the class. LUNCH!

"What the hell happened back there?" I demanded.

"My mum thinks that you are all influencing my life in a bad way and so she wants me to make new friends."

"Well, they shouldn't force you to make the right friends." I replied.

"Even if we aren't the cleverest or the most well behaved." Chatty looked at Cheeky, who was riffling through his bag of pranks, or the "laugh-sack".

"Are you going to make new friends?" I asked.

"No. You are my friends and all my other options are rubbish." She smiled.

"Well that makes us feel so great. You're stuck with us." Cheeky joked, having found what he was looking for.

I pretended to be hurt. "He has a point."

She raised an eyebrow and laughed at out hurt expressions. "I'm hungry, let's go have lunch."

"What are you going to tell your mum?" Chatty asked, linking arms with Clever (who was still limping) as we walked to the great hall for lunch.

"I don't know. Maybe tell her that I don't care what she says, and that I like my friends."

"Try not to tell her that you performed an excellent Bat Bogey Hex on a girl during History of Magic. That might not end out that well." Cheeky joked, eating a bag of sweets with one hand.

We munched on the sweets as we walked.

Clever sighed. "I guess I'll have to tell her the truth. By now the whole school would have heard, and James is going to tell on me quicker than I could perform the hex on him."

I laughed. "Well, you could try using that as your emotional blackmail. Should work."

"Yes, just perform a curse on your brother and get into even more trouble. Brilliant idea." Chatty mumbled.

"It could work, but you have to teach us how to do something like that first." Cheeky said, pulling out his wand and setting green sparks out the end. His wand was tied with spellotape at the middle, and was old and bent. The sparks flew through the air, landing on the floor and sparkling limply before being absorbed into the stone floor.

"Why would you use a bat bogey hex?" Clever asked.

"Duh! I have six sisters. It's not easy being the only boy in _that_ type of house." Cheeky moaned.

"Of course, he does know an awful lot about the right colour of lipstick to wear and what exactly is the perfect thing to get a girl for her birthday." I teased.

"You may tease me now, but at least I have some idea about girls." He retorted. "Charms here knows about nothing."

I shook the comment off, and went into the hall and sat down with the others.

The food on the table was scrumptious as always, placed out on the table in huge quantities.

Cheeky and I instantly grabbed some of everything, from sandwiches to the hot food, which was Shepard's pie today. Chatty got a sandwich and some hard carrots, which she nibbled on. We called here the rabbit when she did this, which was a lot. Clever meanwhile got some of the chocolate cake out on the table.

"Clever, are you just having cake?" Cheeky asked his mouth full of food.

"First, ew! Second, my ankle hurts, and third, the cake is _so_ good!" She replied, putting on extra sprinkles and some more ice cream.

"But that's not healthy." I said.

"Who are you? My mother?" She laughed, digging her spoon in the cake.

"Ha Ha Ha." I said sarcastically. "Only you will be really hungry later. Cake isn't the most filling thing."

"At least I am not eating the entire table." She retorted, looking at mine and Cheeky's plates, which were full to the top with a lot of different types of food.

"I'm a boy. I eat a lot of food." I shrugged.

"I'm a girl. I eat a lot of chocolate."

"Boys eat chocolate too."

"But girls eat more. Fact." She looked at my plate. "Are you eating a ketchup and cheese sandwich?"

"It's actually nice." I said, taking another bite.

Cheeky, Clever and Chatty stared at me like I was crazy.

"Even I wouldn't eat _that_." Cheeky said, looking at my sandwich. "Dude, that is disgusting."

"Vile." Chatty groaned.

"Awful." Clever said. "Everyone knows that you add chocolate spread to any sandwich to make it OK."

"_Chocolate spread?!" _Cheeky and Chatty gasped.

Chatty moaned. "And I repeat… VILE."

"So you add chocolate spread to any sandwich and you say that I am disgusting?" I sulked.

"Well, yeah. It's chocolate." She pouted.

"So you'd eat a hummus and chocolate spread sandwich?" I knew when I said this that she wouldn't. No one would.

She nodded, smirking.

"Without being sick?" I challenged.

She nodded and grabbed a plate. She got some bread, some hummus and some chocolate spread. She put a lot on both sides, then pushed them together and sliced it into perfect little triangles.

"Clev, are you really going to eat _that_?" Chatty sounded scared. "You can't…"

Clever took a bite of the sandwich. She chewed. She swallowed.

"Ew." We said.

She smiled and grabbed another piece. Bite, bite, swallow.

"Now that is disgusting." I said.

"Aw, too scared to try it yourself?" Clever taunted, waving said sandwich in front of my nose.

I flinched. "I'm not scared; I just don't fancy going back to the Hospital Wing for the billionth time."

Clever laughed, and cried, "Chicken!"

"I am not."

This time, they all joined in.

"Fine." I sighed. "Hand me the freaking sandwich."

"Yay!" Chatty said, clapping her hands, as Clever handed me the last sandwich.

I took a bite, and swallowed. I tried not to taste it, but I did.

It wasn't… bad…

Would I give her the satisfaction?

I dropped the sandwich and pretended to puke. I grabbed my goblet of pumpkin juice and swallowed it in a long gulp.

"Were you trying to poison me?" I asked, glaring.

What? I couldn't act like I liked that sandwich. It's in the code.

"I bet you he liked it." Chatty said, narrowing her eyes at me. "He's just too manly to admit it."

"Oi!" Cheeky and I cried.

"We can admit our feelings!"

"Like hell." Clever muttered. "I have two brothers and they only ever admit their feeling if it is about Quidditch. Boys don't ever talk about those things."

Chatty nodded. "Indiana's like that too. Only, he is silent about everything."

"At least we are not like you girls! You don't have to say everything!" Chatty looked very miffed about my comment.

"I have 6 sisters, and they all talk too much. About everything! It is not fair." Cheeky groaned.

"I don't have any brothers or sisters." I said. _This wasn't completely true…_

We were silent for a few minutes, glaring at each other.

Then, I had an idea.

"Clever, I ate your sandwich, but you didn't eat mine. It would only be fair."

She groaned, and poked the sandwich. "Ew." She muttered.

I raised an eyebrow. "Now look who is a chicken!"

This time she took the sandwich and ate it, a blank expression on her face.

"Ngfh." She shuddered, as she finished the sandwich. "I want more cake."

I laughed, and handed her the plate.

When we finished eating, we left the Great Hall and walked around the grounds. It was late summer, and today was quite a nice day. Cheeky forced Clever to teach him the bat bogey hex, until she did it to him and coincidently couldn't remember the counter-curse. They chased each other round the trees, until Clever had to give up when her bag was at a risk to SUPER SUPER sticky glue. Chatty was painting her nails a dark blue shade, and threatening to paint mine if I flicked any more mud at her. Whether I did stop is open to investigation.

All was well in the land of Cheeky, Chatty, Charming and Clever.

* * *

**Fin. **

**Stupid PC. It wouldn't let me fix this. Stupid thing.**

**Stay tuned for chapter 6 soon! :D Read and Review please, any ideas and thoughts are welcome!**

**Ali and Kat**


	6. Evil Goop & the Hospital Wing again

**Chapter**** 6- of evil blue goop and yet more time spent in the hospital wing**

**Defense against the Dark Arts Classroom**

**Clever's POV**

Several weeks had gone by, in a blur of trouble and laughter. Classes became fun and entertaining, though History of Magic had to be the one exception. My friends carried on being as great, my family as annoying as any time.

It was colder, and people huddled in large groups at break and lunch. It rained nearly constantly, and the huge piles of leaves in the grounds made for excellent games of hide and seek, if you could stand the muddy ground long enough to hide there.

My mum had been at me for ages, wanting me to get new friends. I wouldn't give in. Jenna still hated me with a furious passion (and serving detention with her was _so _fun. Ha.) And her cronies continued to help her by chucking paper at my head.

But right now, they had stopped. The reason being, it seems, because our teacher was having a nervous breakdown.

Again.

And I betted it had something to do with the Basic Blaze Box, which was open on the floor by Cheeky's chair. I'd have bet my lunch on that.

The fireworks whizzed and spun round the crowded classroom, knocking books and items of their shelves. A red, mirror like box fell to the floor and cracked, before a shelf of heavy books fell on top of it. The colors were amazing, you had to say that, but by the look on Professor Millard's face, she wasn't thinking about the rainbow that was raining sparks down on the heads of the Oh-so-innocent-first-years.

She took a deep breath.

Professor Millard was known for her calm and caring attitude towards life. She was known to hate confrontation or making a fuss, but really love defense. She was known for, even in the Snowball fight of '03, to never _ever_ yell. That was just not her.

I'm sorry to say officer, that although I was worried and ashamed of the situation involving Professor Millard, I did not stop it. Instead, I sat at the back of the classroom with my friends and laughed as blue sparks danced round my head

I'm sorry officer.

She started to shake and quiver, and went very pale. She glared. Professor Millard never glares!

I wasn't laughing at her, no one really was, we were all laughing at the fact that the fireworks were causing so much havoc. They bounced of the walls and ceiling, shrieking loudly, the noise painful.

Professor Millard went red and turned her fiery gaze on us.

"You, You, You and you. DETENTION!" Then she stomped out of the classroom, leaving us to tidy up.

"Great." Charming rolled his eyes. "Like this is ever going to get old."

Chatty glared at Cheeky, who was looking around sheepishly. "You just had to get us all in detention."

"It was an accident! I didn't mean to set them off!" Cheeky defended himself, backing up with his hands up. By that time, half of the class had slipped off to enjoy the time we had left.

Hands on hip, I scolded him. "So you always just have a box of fireworks in your bag?"

"I was going to prank someone else…" He squirmed.

"Who?" Charming asked a note of interest clear in his voice.

"The caretaker."

"Again? You do realize he will kill you this time?" Chatty told him off, as she picked up the battered and now empty box.

Cheeky was always pranking the boring and mean caretaker of the school, Larry Fiddle. He was plain, harsh and hated mess of any kind. His hobbies were punishing all those who did something wrong. It was almost like he was the devil, though my dad convinced me that he had a worse caretaker back in his day (about a century ago) but that seemed nearly impossible.

It was at that moment that the demon in question entered the room, his harsh face visible through the drenched hood of his cloak.

He took one look at the room, with the fireworks that had finally calmed down, at our faces, as we stood by the table at the back, not even bothering to tidy up.

He turned visibly purple, but before he could yell at us (like he was prone to doing) Cheeky spoke up. "Don't even bother. We already have a detention for this."

Fiddle glared even more at this comment, but he didn't yell. Instead, with a furious "Clean it up." He swept out of the room, door slamming shut loudly in the silence.

"Well, great." I said, before picking up some of the books by my feet.

Twenty minutes later, and the room was reasonably tidy, but there were some funny colored marks on the walls, which we guessed were because the fireworks were old and not of the best quality, so seemed to have made the ceiling purple in patches. And there was really nothing we could do about that, because it was slimy and even standing on the tables didn't allow us to reach it. Believe me. Curse my smallness. The substance did in fact leak, and landed on Charming's head as he tried to stop the mass leaking. The patches refused to come off the table.

"What the hell is this?" Chatty groaned from our table, which she was sitting on until we had cleaned the pathway to the door. One thing you should know about Chatty: she never gets messy. She will not, under any circumstances clean, wash or tidy anywhere, including our dorm. Not to say that I am officially perfect, but socks should not end up in my bed (even when they are mine)

I flicked some of the goop at her spiky pink hair, and laughed as she shrieked and ducked.

The goop was mutating. Seriously, it was breeding like crazy! You'd clean up a bit, turn around to dunk it in the bin, and voila! More would have spread on the table like an ice-lolly on a hot day, oozing over the table in its sticky state.

"Clever! It takes me ages to get my hair to this level of perfection!" I snorted, and Chatty flicked her hair. Sometimes she could be so shallow.

"Why are we still doing this?" Charming cried, examining the end of his robe, which was distinctly not black. Poor House Elves.

We all shot piercing glares at Cheeky, who was attempting to whistle in an "I have no idea why you want to kill me" kind of way. Too bad he can't whistle.

Chatty laughed. "You're doing it all wrong! That's not how you whistle!"

"Then you do it, if you are such a psychopathic whistling expert." Cheeky sulked, as he hated being put down for something that he couldn't do.

Chatty smirked, before whistling quietly.

"That is not right!" Cheeky protested. "You can't whistle!"

I tried, and so did Charming.

"That's it!" Cheeky cried. "None of us can whistle and yet you all turn on me! Well I've had enough of it!" He stormed to the door dramatically. "GOOD DAY!" He cried, and turned to leave, or would have if a giant blob of the un-named formula hadn't landed right on his eye.

"AH!" He cried, and put his hand to his eye. "It hurts." Cheeky then used a few choice words that I didn't think should be put in the current log.

"What has he done?" Charming asked, as Chatty examined Cheeky's eye.

"It looks pretty serious. We should take him to the Hospital Wing." Chatty affirmed.

"Oh I can't come." I said, sitting down on the table. "I should probably owl my uncle; he would know what to do about the gloop."

They nodded.

"Damn gloop!" Cheeky cried as he picked up his bag, and left the classroom, his hand over his red eye.

There was nothing left to do. I made my way to the Owlery to find an owl; probably Albus's, it being the fastest and the one less likely to try and kill me now that I have no more owl treats.

_Dear George,_

_My friend bought a pack of your fireworks ages ago, and now that they are old, set them off in our defense lesson. We have to tidy it up, but this gunk won't get off the ceiling. And now some of the stuff is in his eye, (my friend I mean) and it hurts. Help! _

_Lily._

I gave it to Tiberius, and then went back to the classroom, and I am sad to say that the gunk had not a) vanished, b) cleaned itself up or c) got any better. In fact, it was worse.

I shut the door on the room, which looked just about to become a swamp, before wondering what to do. I couldn't leave it like that!

Then Fiddle arrived. "What are you doing?" He snarled. I leaned against the door as he tried to open it.

"Er, well, we couldn't exactly clean it…" He shoved past me and went inside.

Remember what I said about the gunk becoming a swamp? Well, he opened the door to a wave of sickly blue gunk. It thundered out, exploding into the corridor. It coated the walls and the floor and me. And it burned!

Poor Fiddle must have had a lot of it, because he just looked like some kind of blue monster. Damn, I should have had a camera.

I had two options. 1, go to the hospital wing in this emergency and admit defeat, or 2, die.

Fiddle left the corridor and stomped off, the skin that wasn't still covered in the substance was red and burnt.

My face and arms hurt.

You know what? I think I would rather choose death (than face her again).

**Meanwhile, Charming's POV**

To say that Madam Turpin was slightly irritated with having to treat an 11 year old boy from eye burns would have been the understatement of the century.

She glared at us and muttered vibrant words under her breath as she began to work out just what the eye needed.

Cheeky sat on the bed and moaned and cried and whinged as she scarcely touched him, the baby that he is. I couldn't stop laughing, he was so ridiculous. Chatty sat beside him on the bed, holding his hand as Madam Turpin applied a vile smelling formula to the top of the eye.

"I don't even know what to do." She said loudly as she put down the tube. "I have no idea what did this, but I will need to know what was in that mixture before I can begin to mend Mr. Johnson's eye."

She began to test his eye sight, which came up very poor. "I am afraid that you will have to spend that night here, until we can cure it." Cheeky nodded, the prospect of a day off (especially if it had double potions first thing) thrilling, even though he was in pain.

It was then that there was a very quiet knock on the doors. I got up and opened it, to a blue monster. I stepped back.

"Clever?" I enquired, as the blue monster moved its pink arms and waved.

She nodded, and some of the blue gunk fell over her head, and the top of her red hair could be seen. She was coated head to toe in the goop.

Madam Turpin stepped out of her office. "Lily Potter. Why are you back?" She snapped.

"I'm sorry." Clever croaked, shiny tears clear on the patch of pink skin by her nose. "I sort of got covered in the blue stuff from the fireworks and it hurts."

Madam Turpin deliberated for a second, but at the sight of Clever's pink/blue skin, let her in.

Clever sat on a bed and was given a pain killer, before Madam Turpin pointed them to the Hospital bathroom.

Chatty helped Clever over, and Madam Turpin went back into her office after setting up the beds.

I sat on the Cheeky's bed as he got changed behind the curtain.

"I hope you have learnt a lesson." I muttered.

Cheeky faced me with a curious expression. His pajama top was buttoned wrong and his eye was swollen and red, but still he managed to look at me like I was the ridiculous one.

"What lesson?" He smirked. "That I should use the fireworks as soon as I buy them?"

"No. That you shouldn't use them at all. You got us all in trouble and you and Clever are in pain. You need to apologize to us all."

He laughed. "Like Hell I am going to quit using fireworks. I'll just use them when I buy them."

I sighed. Getting through to him was like talking to a brick wall; made you look stupid and was pointless.

He slouched against the bed and pulled out a bag of sweets from his backpack. He offered them to me, and I took one because I was hungry and wanted dinner.

A few minutes later, Fiddle was carried in, passed out on a stretcher, in an even worse condition than Clever. He was put on a bed far away from us.

About 20 minutes later, Clever and Chatty reappeared. Clever was less blue, and was in dry clothes, but her skin was interrupted by funny greenish red rashes on her arms and legs. She was wearing a long colorful scarf wrapped round her neck and mouth, and her hands were covered in big oven mitts, which were taped to her arms. She was trying to kick Chatty as they walked in, but Chatty continued to keep Clever's arms pressed to her side.

Cheeky and I stared at the two of them, whilst they glared back at us; Chatty's look said, "For her sake, don't go there (although it is funny)" whereas Clever's look said "say anything and you die." Easy to see which one was the nicest.

Clever sulked and tried to scratch her arms for the rest of the time Chatty and I were there. Even through the pain killers, she was grumpy as hell.

"Space Junior Johnson. I officially hate you." Clever glowered at Cheeky. I did not particularly blame her, as she had been covered in the stuff and it sounded like it kinda hurt.

"Are you OK?" I had to ask. Being covered in burning blue gloop could not possibly be very healthy. She had to pause and think for a moment, but whether in reality, or just for sarcastic effect, I did not know.

"Probably. I've definitely been better, but I'll live. I think. I hope. Cheeky on the other hand… well, I don't think he's quite so likely to survive the experience. Except possibly to prolong the torture." Cheeky visibly shrunk back into his seat.

"Er… um… what did I ever do to offend you?" he eventually managed to blurt out, body refusing to obey him in terror of Clever's wrath, which I had heard was quite formidable.

"Oh, only get us all in detention, and me covered in extremely painful burning acidic gloop. Which of course is not enough to merit being stabbed to death with a plastic spork."

"Why a plastic spork? Surely a sharp knife would be far more effective for stabbing people?"

"That it would, but death by sporking is far, far more painful. Would you care for a demonstration now instead of later?" I couldn't help but giggle. Death by plastic spork.

"No, no, I quite understand. Umm, are you sure you don't want to let me pick my own method of death. Takes all the strain off of you, you know. Old age perhaps? That well known incredibly slow and torturous killer."

"You don't stand a chance. You're dead. Enjoy the minutes you have left," Chatty pointed out. There wasn't much arguing with Clever. Unless you liked being outsmarted every time.

Fortunately for Cheeky, Madam Turpin chose that moment to return bearing various medicines, potions, and other varieties of highly disgusting liquids for Clever and Cheeky to drink. At least it wasn't needles. I had heard that muggles used them a lot, and the idea scared me. Deeply. So long as no one tried to stick any in me.

"Argh! Yuck!!!" Cheeky yelled, spitting the thing he had been given most of the way across the quite large hospital wing.

I rolled my eyes. "Cheeky. That was pumpkin juice."

"Oh." He looked down, and tried to draw all attention away from him. Careful not to make too much of a fuss this time, he reluctantly accepted the glass of icky looking grey stuff, and swallowed it all. The fact that he promptly threw up afterwards slightly lessened the effect. None of us laughed, as neither me nor Chatty would put something like that anywhere near our mouths, and Clever had her own treatment to look forward to. Miss Turpin disappeared it with her wand, and fed Cheeky another glass, which he managed to retain this time.

When Clever's turn came, she did nothing to hide her disgust at the medicine, but drank it anyway. I had to turn my head away, to prevent myself from being sick just at the sight of the yellowy greeny browny sludge. No, even the thought of it made me want to retch. I did not know how she could take it. I offered them each a mint from my bag, and they took them with glee. Chatty looked slightly put out at not having received one, so I gave her one too, and then myself.

Madam Turpin returned to find us all happily silent and sucking on our mints, and left, contented.

**The next day.**

**Cheeky's POV**

Charming awoke, groaning and evidently uncomfortable. "Did we just fall asleep in the hospital wing?" He asked, bleary eyed and still unconscious. "That was a mistake. The floor hurts."

"I'm hungry. I think we missed dinner." Chatty grumbled

"Hey, where have she gone?" Charming pointed to Clever's bed, which was empty.

I rubbed my eyes and tried to look at the clock on the wall. I couldn't read it with my poor eye.

We sat in silence, too tired to move, but slowly waking up anyway.

Chatty grumbled and muttered to herself, sitting on Clever's bed, as she tried to fix her hair.

I borrowed some of her hair gel, and was going to go to a mirror to put it on my hair when the door opened and a small figure wearing a toga of a sheet came in and slammed the door shut. It pulled off its sheet to reveal Clever's red head.

"I got it!" She said, waving a letter around in the air. "From my uncle."

"But why are you wearing a sheet?" I asked, as she sat on her bed and began to open the letter.

"Because I am not going to wander round the school wearing pajamas am I!" She laughed. She finally opened the letter and read, "_Dear Lily. Bravo on the whole pranks thing, we never thought you had it in you. Sorry that your friend is in pain, but the only real cure is Batsflower, this takes ages to grow and is really rare. If the nurse has some, tell her it has to be boiled in lemon water until it becomes a paste, and then put on the affected areas when they are greenish brown. As for the classroom, close it off for between 24-48 hours and it should have returned to normal." _She finished there, and sighed. "He had to pick the one flower that is rare, dangerous and slow."

I grinned. "Does this mean we might miss double potions?"

She shrugged. "I have to ask if Madam Turpin has any first."

"We should be going." Charming muttered, and Chatty nodded, still fixing her hair. "See you later."

They left, to get food or do homework or even sleep.

Meanwhile, I tried to convince Clever not to go and tell Miss Turpin that she knew exactly what to do about the rashes on our arms.

"You can't, you simply can't!" I argued for the billionth time that morning.

She was sitting on her bed, clearly enjoying the situation I was in.

It is quite simple: due to the fireworks (aka the epic fireworks) I missed out on finishing (or starting) my potions essay, (which is due in the double today). Oops. So I can't really do it now.

And after eighteen missed home works, I was in for some trouble if I didn't turn up to the lesson with a two foot essay on the uses of the Binacularfish Plant. I was going to be in the potion (whatever it may be…).

"You didn't do the homework again!" She scolded. "You idiot!"

"I forgot…" Actually I didn't, I was pranking Alvertius Marcen, the Slytherin twat.

"How could you not remember?" She yelled, and I shrugged. "I wrote it on your hand!" Clever and Chatty had for some reason got very addicted to drawing on peoples' arms/legs/shoes/books or shirts recently, which was why for several days, all I had had on my arms was diagrams and lengthy descriptions of out work, homework or extra work. However, Charming got the worse deal, sitting next to Chatty he ended up with drawings of hearts or unicorns in bright ink, which made him look ridiculous.

"Ink doesn't stay on forever!" I muttered, showing her my hand which-oops-still had ink on it.

She rolled her eyes. "Unlike you, I have the brains to do my homework, and unlike you, I don't want to get kicked out of school!"

The rest of the argument got pretty heated, as I threatened to tie her to the bed (so she wouldn't tell) and she threatened to hex me to within an inch of my life; if I tried anything. (Although, she didn't know that hexes)

"If you don't tell her the cure, I will do your homework for a month." I pleaded; she raised an eyebrow. "OK, I'll take full responsibility for it? And I'll carry your books for the whole month and give you my entire collection of sweets!"

"Fine, but you aren't getting anywhere near my work."

I cheered, and took the letter from her. "It is only fair." I smirked.

"We can't miss more than a day."

"Fine."

"And you owe me sweets."

I handed them over, and we sat in silence.

"You do know that you will have to hand in the potions essay anyway right?" She asked.

"Damn."

**Chatty's POV**

After a long, boring day, Charming and I headed up to the stairs to the Hospital Wing, carrying all the books we needed for our work. School without Clev or Cheeky was so boring, but Charming's arms looked really pretty.

He was trying to scratch the particular drawing of kittens in a basket off his arm when we arrived, and I kept prodding him to stop it; the drawing had taken me all of potions and Transfiguration to finish.

"Stop doing that or I will get Clever to put it there PERMANANTLY."

He scowled and stopped. "I don't see why you can't use parchment like a normal person. My arms have feelings too!"

"Because I will run out of parchment, whereas I can use your skin, on which it comes off and can be used over and over again."

"It doesn't come off! You may not know this, but that ink is not capable of being removed from my skin."

"It is not permanent, you are a boy and do not wash!"

"I wash plenty!"

"No you don't!"

"At least I don't have to check my hair every half hour!"

"I like looking good." I protested, as we made our way to the section of the room where Cheeky and Clever had been, and pulled back the curtain.

"Ah!" Charming cried, as he fell back into the table.

I gasped, and promptly burst into laughter.

"Oh my god!" I wheezed out during my hysterics, pointing at Cheeky.

This is what the current situation contained; Cheeky sitting on a bed with his hair in tiny plaits at the top of his head, with ribbons and bands tied round them; with his face covered in makeup of the stage variety, from huge lip-gloss to dramatic eyeliner. He looked ridiculous, some type of weird girl clown.

Charming recovered from the initial shock of seeing his friend dressed like an absolute idiot, and began to laugh loudly, clutching on to his stomach as his loud laughs echoed.

"What?" Cheeky asked, staring at us as if we were insane. "What is so funny? Guys!"

Charming and I kept laughing, pointing at his face, and Clever was laughing too, as I saw her quickly hide a stack of makeup under her pillow.

"WHAT?" Cheeky demanded, before grabbing the mirror of the side and looking into it. "Oh my-" I didn't think I should put in the rest of that sentence.

"WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME?" Cheeky gasped, glaring at Clev.

She shrugged. "You were taking a nap."

He glared at her. "I can't believe you put makeup on me. How the hell am I supposed to get it off?"

"Er, you might want to try water." I suggested, laughing at his completely confused expression.

"Water. Right" And he went to wash his face, for the first time in weeks.


	7. The Demon Teddy & Angst in Bathrooms

**Chapter 7 – The Demon Teddy and Angst in Bathrooms **

**Chatty's POV**

"You haven't been summoning the forces of darkness in your room again, have you?" I glared angrily at Clever. Our dorm was a complete and utter mess, there were smoke stains everywhere, something had overturned her chest of drawers, her trunk looked like it had been hit by a lightning bolt, and the whole place absolutely stank.

"How many times do I have to tell you, it wasn't a demon. I was trying to teach my teddy-bear to do all the tidying up, as I don't particularly enjoy it, but it went wrong, and she started behaving weirdly." My eyes flickered to the heavily padlocked chest that was currently rocking back and forth in a highly ominous manner. Clever had put a silencing spell on it so that it would not keep us awake at night, and it could not escape, but we still had not told any teachers about the demon teddy bear in our dorm. Cheeky and Charming knew, of course, how could they not, but nobody else did. With hindsight, that was probably a bad idea, but it seemed the best way to stay out of trouble at the time. The teachers still hadn't forgiven us for the firework incident, or the accidentally setting fire to most of the potions store cupboard. I was quite proud to say that that one had actually been Charming, who, while poking some particularly volatile pickled salamanders (pickled in Romulan ale, apparently, according to Clever, who knew most things there were to know about alcohol, or anything for that matter) accidentally caused a minor explosion which set fire to the toadweed, which was highly flammable, and caused everything else to burn too, and would have set fire to the school too if I hadn't stepped in with a rather large jet of water. Rather large, in that it soaked me, the teacher, all the other students, and the entire classroom. All this resulted in no potions for a week, but we were on the brink of being expelled.

"You still haven't told me what on earth you actually are doing. What disaster is about to happen this time? I've managed an entire week without a detention; this is probably going to be a big one."

"Hey, this time it's perfectly innocent!" she retorted, sounding hurt. "Well, fairly innocent. It had good intentions." She hung her head. "I've been trying to de-whateverify Fluffy. It hasn't really worked. So far, I have turned Devil pink and black stripey-" She shuffled backwards from my angry glare. My little black kitten had had strange, untrustworthy magic done on it and could be hurt! Look at what had happened to that teddy bear! "It can be reversed! I promise!" she stuttered out.

"Oh, I have nothing against the colour. I think I kinda like it. But magic can be dangerous, and you're incredibly inexperienced. I think we need a proper witch or wizard to deal with this. By the way, how exactly did you intend to do whatever you were trying to do with the demon bear still in the box?"

"Oi! Don't be mean to Fluffy! But I'm sorry about your cat. It was an accident, I swear, and I'm sure she's alright. But honestly, do you think we'd be able to stay here for much longer if they found out we've been keeping a demon teddy bear? It's only forged letters from Harry Potter keeping us here as it is."

"Excuse me? We've been keeping a demon teddy bear? I think you mean you have. The rest of us didn't practice highly dangerous magic without the proper experience and ignore the consequences. No, the rest of us just get our possessions and our pets messed up. Any day now, you're going to do something actually dangerous, if you haven't already, and then there really will be trouble."

"Oh, so now it's all my fault, is it? May I inquire as to who, exactly is responsible for bailing you all out of trouble most of the previous times we've had disasters, who ensures that you don't fail every single test you have and makes sure that you've done all your homework correctly and on time? So if I slip up a few times, I think I can, cause you all owe me. And if you don't like my magic, then do your own homework. Make your own notes for history of magic. Cause I have to listen, and pay attention, while all you lot doze and mess around, cause someone has to. So if I make some mistakes, I think I have the right. And this time I was trying to fix it, keep us out of trouble, but no, I have to get yelled at for doing my best instead."

She finished her rant, and stalked out of the room, leaving me standing there slightly shell-shocked. It took me a while to realise that I was rooted to the spot, and that tears were running down my face. Why? Why? I knew tensions were high at the moment, what with the threat of expulsion hanging so low over our heads and causing many sleepless nights of worrying, and of frantically studying, so that our academic record did not give them another excuse to throw us out, but with so much of our time now spent in detention, more through accident-prone-ness and certain teachers' hatred of us than any actual will to disobey (except perhaps in Cheeky's case), it was a time when we really needed to stick together, all of us, especially Clever. Without her, well, we'd all be doomed. But this really was getting dangerous, for her as well as those around her. And while she insisted that things would be fine, in this I did not quite trust her.

* * *

**Clever's POV**

I now found myself standing just outside the portrait of the fat lady, facing a choice.

I could go to the library, my haven, full of the most wonderful books, but it was out of bounds at night, and storming back in to fetch the invisibility cloak wasn't exactly an option at the moment. That left me with moping in the bathroom for a while, or sitting in the common room. I decided I wanted some privacy, and aloneness, so headed towards the girls' bathroom on the second floor, the one that no one went to because of the ghost.

This place had been the source of many adventures for my parents – the brewing of the polyjuice potion, even the entrance to the chamber of secrets. Although why on earth Salazar Slytherin would choose a girls' bathroom for it still escapes me.

I crossed the bathroom and sat down on a dry patch of floor (these are a rare occurrence in here. Myrtle frequently floods the place) near the wall. I then proceeded to bash my head against it, shouting "Angst! Angst! Angst!" each time. I'd heard that it helped. It didn't. It just gave me a large headache on top of everything else. I groaned.

"Honestly, I'm the one that's meant to cry a lot and flood the bathroom, not you!" Myrtle complained jokingly. She could be quite annoying when you were in a good mood, but it seemed that she was fairly nice wren she recognised a fellow spirit in distress. "What's wrong?"

"No matter what I do, all the teachers hate me, my family hates me, even my friends hate me, and I'm about to get expelled. What else?"

"Well, at least you aren't dead."

"Is being dead that bad?"

"Yes!" This seemed to spark her off crying once more, which she somehow hadn't since I arrived.

"Oh." I sat in silence for a minute, until Myrtle felt the need to ask another question.

"What's life like out there, in the land of the living? I don't get out much. And what are the boys like? This being a girls' bathroom, I haven't seen one since, oh, that Harry Potter. I invited him to share my toilet, but he wouldn't." This triggered another round of tears. "He's probably married to that horrible Ginny girl now, and has forgotten all about me."

"Hey! Don't insult my mum!" I protested, more out of instinct than anything else. My mum, who kept insisting I make friends with Jenna, who kept yelling at me every time I got into trouble. James, he was troublesome, but he got away with it. I just didn't seem to have that kind of luck.

And my family had certainly set a hard record to live up to. Aunt Hermione, who I had always got on with the best, had never broken a school rule, and I dreaded to think what she thought of me now. And my dad and Uncle Ron? They'd always been busy saving the world, or something, and had always got away with it. So no sympathy ever came from them. The only person who understood was Uncle George, but he was too far away and too busy, and had very little influence over my closer relatives. Albus was always nice, but now he groaned in exasperation whenever I came to him explaining what disaster had befallen this time. He was currently researching what to do about the bear with me, but reluctantly, and for the last time. And Hugo… well, I didn't exactly know. I hadn't seen much of him since we started school, and I had no idea where he was most of the time.

Why couldn't people just accept me for who I was? Accident prone, never deliberately getting into trouble but somehow managing it anyway, and likes to experiment. I wasn't perfect – nobody is, but I wasn't that far off, so what exactly was wrong with that?

My musings were cut off by Myrtle, who appeared to have got the basic gist of them from the cracks appearing in the tile that I had been pounding with my now bloody fist. "Go. Make things up with them. Shoo. Cease moping." I almost laughed as I heard that coming from Moaning Myrtle, but obeyed her instructions as the depressed ghost shepherded me out of the door. I felt slightly better, but still not enough, although enough to pretend.

"You really should get out more," I added as a parting comment to the ghost, as I headed back up to the common room. I looked at my watch. 11pm? I had been there for longer than I had thought. Now, what was the password?

* * *

**Charming's POV**

It was a Sunday, and so as such I was not going to leave my bed until 9am at the earliest.

No matter what Cheeky was doing to cause it to be otherwise.

No matter how loudly or badly he was playing the guitar right next to my left ear.

No matter how much I hated that song.

_I'm a Barbie girl, in a Barbie wooooooorld…_

The words floated through the pillow my head was buried under, and the final straw cracked. I leapt out of bed, pinned Cheeky to his, and threw the foul guitar as far away across the other side of the room as I could.

"If you ever sing Barbie Girl again, I will personally throttle you. Or get Clever to do it for me." He cowered back in terror. I stepped back, my job done. Unfortunately, now I was awake, and there was no going back to bed. I guessed we'd just have to have breakfast now, as I was not staying awake without some food. I knew how much Clever hated being woken up before at least 9 o'clock, so I looked at my watch to calculate how much time I needed to spend getting dressed and how many of Cheeky's sweets I would have to nick in order to survive that long.

"6.59am? Cheeky, that's ridiculous! Why did you wake me up so early?" It wasn't even 7 o'clock yet, and I didn't get up before then on weekdays! Didn't he understand how important sleep was?

I got dressed anyway, in spite of the ridiculous time, and headed downstairs to the common room to toast marshmallows and wait for Chatty and Clever, who would kill us if we went to breakfast without them. About ten minutes later, much to my surprise, one of them appeared.

Chatty's hair was a mess, an unorganised one this time, and her face was red and blotchy, with red swollen eyes that looked as though they had been crying all night. She looked tired. They probably had been. She was still wearing the crumpled set of clothes that she had put on yesterday, and she generally looked a bedraggled, upset, and exhausted mess. Most unlike the Chatty we all knew and loved.

"What's wrong?" Cheeky finally asked the question. It was obvious that something was.

"It's Clever. She's gone. I don't know where," she eventually managed to make out between choked sobs. "I think I shouted at her, and then she shouted at me, and then I don't really know what happened but she went. And knowing her she's probably in some kind of huge trouble now."

I nodded in agreement. The Gryffindor tower had not yet blown up, but no doubt something bad would have happened, this being Clever we were talking about. "I guess we're gonna have to go look for her."

I was stared at in slight confusion. "Look for her?" Cheeky asked incredulously. "She could be anywhere!"

"Well, she isn't here, we know that, so we have a much better chance of finding here elsewhere, don't we. Besides, I'd be willing to bet quite a lot that she's in the library. It's the kind of place people that like books go when they're depressed."

The question of what we would do if she wasn't in the library remained unasked, and we made our way out of the common room. Out of the common room, and tripping over a dead body. Wasn't Clever the one that was supposed to do that kind of thing?

Alright, an unconscious body, I revised, as it started swearing angrily at us in several foreign languages. I knelt down beside it and peeled back the cloak it was wrapped in, to reveal the furious and tear-stained face of Clever. She was shivering slightly – even though it was only late October, it was quite cold, and most of the rest of us were wearing several layers of jumpers.

She must have been out here all night, I realised, having returned from wherever she was, and forgotten the password. Which would not have been fun, as it had been freezing. To the point of me wearing a woolly hat and gloves to bed. I guessed she needed getting warm quickly, so I persuaded her to stand up and come back into the common room with us.

Once we were there, she was given strict instructions to sit on the sofa nearest the fire, and not move from there while I went upstairs to fetch lots of blankets. Hypothermia was a very bad thing, or so I had heard, and it was not safe to return to the hospital wing just yet.

When I returned, bearing all of my and Cheeky's blankets, we found that she only had a minor cold, fever, flu, or something like that. I wasn't good with the whole medical terms thing, so all I knew was that she was unwell but it shouldn't be fatal. With shouldn't being the operative word.

"Marshmallow, anyone?" Cheeky enquired, trying to break the awkward silence. The only cure for an awkward silence is awesomeness, as we all well knew, or yelling random words such as cheese, pie, marshmallows, or sherbet, but this seemed to work.

"Me!" the rest of us yelled in unison. Cheeky's marshmallows were not things to be refused.

The awkward silence had now turned into a companionable one, as we sat and toasted our marshmallows, and Clever's one turned slowly carbonated. It caught fire several times, and was all but a lump of charcoal when she finally declared it ready. Chatty's, on the other hand, was perfectly toasted - golden brown all over with a liquid middle. Mine had gone spotty, with some parts black and others uncooked, and a distinctly chewy but still burnt-tasting middle, while Cheeky's had turned to caramel in a most peculiar manner.

"What do we do now?" I asked.

"I believe we… consume the marshmallows," Clever replied after a great deal of thought. That was a good sign, I decided. She was being friendly, and back to her usual, dementedly quoting self.

"No, what do we do after that?"

"I believe we should now partake in the ritual known as the… sing-along."

Cheeky and I dived for cover, while Chatty started humming 'Yellow Submarine'.

Clever rolled her eyes. "You don't actually think I'd let there be any risk of either of you two singing, do you?"

"Hey," Cheeky protested, "I can sing quite well, thank you very much!"

"Oh no you can't!" I yelled before tackling to the floor and covering his mouth with my hand so that no more words of that vile song I had been subjected to earlier this morning escaped. He started humming it anyway. I gave in. "I guess I'm just gonna have to find some earplugs," I groaned, and found a seat as far away from Cheeky as possible.

* * *

**Chatty's POV**

Clever had been back with us for a few hours now. Thank goodness it was a Saturday, although I still had a lot of homework that urgently needed doing, including a forty page long diary of a goblin during the goblin wars for History of Magic due in on Monday. I had so far done two pages, and even Clever had only managed twenty, and she almost always did things on the very night they were set. Charming had gotten stuck with writer's block on about page four, and I dreaded to think where Cheeky was. I somehow doubted he'd even started it.

Clever had looked like she had cried herself to sleep last night, and I personally didn't blame her. Being stuck outside in an already bad mood in a night as cold as that could not have been fun. I couldn't actually remember what we had been arguing about now, but it all seemed pointless, and it seemed as though neither could she.

Which was probably why I was now sitting at the end of a sofa near the fire in the common room next to a pair of incredibly heavily blanketed feet belonging to a certain nearly hypothermic witch and staring at lots and lots of sheets of paper, only a very small number of which had writing on.

Cheeky and Charming had disappeared a while ago to fetch breakfast, and they had returned from the kitchens with a large packet of white bread, butter, a squeezy bottle of chocolate spread, and squirty cream. They were currently trying to toast the bread on a poker over the fire. This resulted in us being sporadically dished up holey toast in varying degrees of carbonation, which we had to cover in the chocolate spread and squirty cream just to disguise the taste. Neither Cheeky nor Charming had a future as a chef, put it that way.

Clever was asleep at the moment, having yelled "Wictory!" and then promptly collapsed after finishing her history. I decided to fill up some pages by doing some doodles. Well, labelled diagrams, but who cares. I also put in several extracts from books the goblin was reading, and copied out Clever's notes on battle tactics.

That brought me to ten pages, and at that point I gave up, and if it were not for the fact that I had terrible aim, would have thrown all my work in the fire. Fortunately, it hit the back of Charming's head instead, and he proceeded to read it out to everybody in the room (which was only us four).

"Argh!!! How on earth am I going to finish this?" I yelled in exasperation.

"Well, you could get attached by a dragon, resulting in the rest of the pages becoming only half the size." Cheeky suggested.

I gave it some thought. "That's actually a pretty good idea." I stood up, brought my diary over to the fire, and waited until the pages caught light, then realised that they weren't stopping catching light, and squirted squirty cream all over them (it was the nearest available thing). The fire eventually went out, and I had enough space to write "was attacked by dragon", and a side note "Grchfld died two days later of heavy burns, Gythhld."

"YAYNESS!" I yelled (the finishing of the diary does that to people). Cheeky and Charming stared at me in slight confusion.

"Right. But that still doesn't solve the problem of what we're going to do."

"Well, you could scribble all the way through, and then it could fatally fall into a bucket of water right at the end."

"Good one Charming. What about you?"

Clever seemed to have woken up for the exciting topic, and yelled "A bomb could hit it!" in her usual hyperness, before descending into coughs.

"Um… Clev… they didn't have bombs then," Cheeky said nervously. It was not often that Clever was wrong, and it usually meant something bad was about to happen.

"Dammit. That was my main plot."

"Clever? Are you sure you're all right?" I asked concernedly.

"Yeppitty yeppitty cheese on toast."

"What?"

"Marshmallows row row row your boat." She began to sing.

"Oh dear."

"Sausages, mash, and crazed romulans trying to blow up the earth!"

"Oh deary deary me."

"We are the pirates who don't do anything, we just stay at home and lie around…"

"Umm… Clever? I'm taking you to the hospital wing. Now."

* * *

"Umm, well, you see, Madam Turpin, well, it was kinda…"

"Just get on with it, girl."

"Well, she kinda forgot the password last night and was stuck outside all night and now she's acting a bit weird. Very weird."

"What do you mean?"

It was at this point that Clever finally spoke (she had not done so for the last 30 seconds or more – a rare occurrence). "No! Don't tell the tadpoles!"

"Excuse me, Miss Potter?"

"Potato!"

"You see," I said, hanging my head in despair.

"Porto portas portat portamus portatis portant."

"Umm… Clev? Why are you reciting Latin verbs?" Charming was looking even more confused than normal.

"Bonus bone bonum-"

"Argh! No! Don't get her started on the adjectives! There are sixty of them!" Charming yelled in warning, and then covered both her mouth and his ears, a remarkable feat for someone with only two hands but still two ears on opposite sides of his head, but one that was necessary in the face of Latin grammar.

"Umm… Charming?" Cheeky asked. "Why do you know that anyway?"

"It was compulsory at my old school. And torturous."

"Ah."

"Anyway, hating to interrupt, but I think your friend has the early stages of hypothermia. It should get better if she is kept warm, but you can do that in your own common room. I don't want her cluttering up my hospital wing. If she's still delirious in 24 hours, come back, but until then, shoo. Go on!"

And so we left, with the insane Clever saying entirely random things the entire way back. I think it may have been worse than the time Cheeky was hit by the Shakespeare spell. In fact, it quite definitely was. He never gave anyone a lecture about cactuses in quite that much detail.

"I have a cunning plan!" Charming announced at last. We all stared at him in slight confusion. It was a bit out of context. "I write 'Oooh! I have hypothermia! What fun!', and then let Clever write the rest!"

"I'm not quite sure what Professor Binns will think of Latin participles, but go ahead. It can't be any worse than mine. You at least have four pages of decent stuff." Cheeky pointed out. Thankfully Clever herself was asleep, and therefore did not comment.

Charming decided that he needed this done before the effects of the cold wore off, and so poked Clever not particularly gently, which got his eyebrows singed and hair made straight and sticking up dementedly. He, of course, did not have a mirror, and so did not notice. I couldn't wait until he next looked in one. Although with the state his hair was normally in, I was beginning to doubt whether he ever looked in a mirror at all.

As she was not exactly in her right mind, Clever was not implementing her not doing other people's homework unless it was a complete and utter emergency policy, so Charming had little trouble giving her a quill and his homework and watching it grow.

Occasionally Clever would vocalise her thoughts, such as now. It seemed she had returned to quoting Shakespeare, but this time in an Irish accent. By the time she had got to "You cannot truly appreciate Shakespeare until you have read him in the original Klingon," we had become quite adept at blocking it out. We figured she might get offended if we tried to gag her, and none of us actually owned any ear-plugs (a situation that we planned to rectify soon, when we found out where to buy ones that don't explode at random).

And so the day passed, relatively uneventfully, and no one noticed the strange noises coming from upstairs, or if they did, they did not think much of it.

* * *

**Charming's POV**

The next morning, we woke up early and went downstairs to where we had left Clever; sleeping by the fire. She was lying half of the sofa, breathing steadily, with chocolate spread in her hair. If you hadn't known where to look, all you would have seen was a pile of blankets, apparently whistling.

Chatty was the first one to notice the poster on the board, as she was getting out the battered wizard chess board from a cupboard. The notice read:

**ATTENTION: -**** To all Students wishing to attend the Halloween Ball on the 31****st****, remember that it is fancy dress and that good behaviour is required. No one is to enter the Great Hall until 7pm, unless the Quidditch match over runs. First and Second Years must be in bed by 10:30, third and fourth by 11:00 and fifth, sixth and seventh years by 11:30. Prefects are required to ensure that all students are in bed by their set curfew. **

**Professor Longbottom**

I smiled to myself as I read it; I was great that my birthday was on a Saturday (finally) and that there was a party. Even though it was Halloween, sometimes the typical birthday parties can be quite boring…

"OH YAY!" Chatty cried, jumping on to the sofa and pulling out a sketch pad. "I must start on the costumes immediately. This will require great thinking and planning, as these outfits will be the awesomest, most epic EVER!" She instantly began chewing on her hair (a strange habit she had when she was thinking very hard) and scribbling on the pad.

We decided to leave her to it, and I took on Cheeky in a thrilling battle of wizard chess. It was so long and such a skilled game that quite a few people watched, including Clever when she woke up. She leaned over my shoulder and told me where to move that piece, which annoyed Cheeky because he was in need of help, as the position of his queen showed.

We laughed brutally as I won the game, with a cry of "Checkmate!" and a happy dance or two.

"I hate you!" he growled, and threw a very badly-aimed rook at Clever's head. I ducked it, and she grinned.

"I know. I love me too."


	8. Quidditch & Prettiful Buzzys Things

****

Done and Dusted. Enjoy!

Chapter 8 –Quidditch Matches & Prettiful Buzzys Things

**Clever's POV**

I woke up early on Saturday the 31st of October; Halloween. No one was awake yet, so I looked out of the window by my bed. From there, I could see that it looked like a good day, with only a few clouds in the sky and a perfect breeze. I could see that the first match of the year (Slytherin vs. Gryffindor) was going to take place.

Even in the early hours, before people were fully awake, the air was tense, like the entire school was alert and all focused on the outcome of the day.

Win or lose, Quidditch season had begun.

I looked at Chatty, who had spent the last couple of days obsessively pouring over fashion magazines and books, carrying around stacks of material and vanishing for hours with scissors and needles into a cupboard, only to come out exhausted, half blind and pins still on her skirt. She refused to tell us anything, show us a design or even give us a clue what to expect. She became less and less like herself, scarcely talking or eating. No more high tales of weird stuff. No more witch weekly quotes. No gossip.

We were really worried. I made sure her work was done and that she got some sleep, some food, but we couldn't do much. She threatened to miss Quidditch. She stressed. She cried. Her fingers bled, she fell asleep in all classes, in her soup.

And then last night, when the Gryffindors had gathered for a pep-rally of sorts, with banners and food and cheering; she had been there. She smiled and sighed and told us that she was finished. She explained that she ordered about half of the costumes, but it all needed adjusting, and there was only one of her. Then she had gone to bed.

I smiled, glad that my friend wasn't as insane or crazy, at least for awhile.

In the meantime, we hadn't had detention in over a week and our teachers began to start trusting us to do more than work in our textbooks. Which was good, and we decided to keep it that way. Cheeky wasn't helping much; he found it hard being good, especially for a long period of time.

I pulled out my homework and used it to correct Cheeky's and Charming's, while I waited for Chatty to wake up. I was halfway through looking over Cheeky's atrocious spelling mistakes and the fact that he completely forgot to mention the plant we were studying, when Clever began to wake up.

When she did, we got dressed and (pulling out the water guns I had bought in a muggle store over the summer) tiptoed out of the girls dorm and heading to the boy's dorm, where Cheeky and Charming slept, not realising anything.

Clever pulled her Gryffindor scarf around her face and fixed her pilot's goggles tightly over her eyes. I tied my hair in ponytail and put on my hat, securing it over my ears. Chatty made the signal; we dodged round the corner of the stairs and lent against the wall like true spies. One wall separated the two staircases into the different towers, and you couldn't quite see round the corner. I listened, and not being able to hear anything, I made the second signal and we jumped from the stairs into the common room…

Right into the blast from two different water guns. I instantly began to shoot at the stairs to the boy's dorm, a blast of ice cold water splattering the walls and the floor. Meanwhile Chatty too was spraying water at the two boys (whom we guessed were Cheeky and Charming) and trying to dodge the water that was being sprayed at her…

"Surrender!" Charming cried, pointing his blaster right at me.

"Never!" I shouted back, shaking my blaster. "Damn, it's empty!"

I looked at Chatty, who was still blasting water at Cheeky (who was trying to attack her too).

Then I looked at Charming, who's blaster was still full, still focused on my face. He laughed evilly.

"I'll make you a deal. Don't spray me and I will make sure that you get your birthday present safely." He shook his head and put his finger on the trigger.

"Oh, you want to play that game." I muttered to myself, grinning, as he began to pull it back…

And I fell to the floor. He dropped the water gun and jumped over, as I pretended to have fainted or something. He lent over me and shook my shoulder.

"You guys, she's fainted!" He turned away and spoke to Chatty and Cheeky, soaked through and running out of water. When Charming wasn't looking, I opened my eyes and grabbed his blaster by my head.

I poked him in the back with it. "Now look who's in trouble."

He groaned, just as I emptied the entire water gun over his head.

"Happy Birthday." I laughed.

* * *

A helpful prefect helped us dry off the common room. He wasn't that annoyed, but told us to be careful and not make such a mess the next time.

We sat by the fire. I sneezed. I had had a really bad cold for the past few days, and now it seemed to be much worse. Bad, like I couldn't stop sneezing or coughing.

We were toasting yet more bread of the fire, when half of the Gryffindor Quidditch team came down the stairs.

James and Fred were among them. I smiled at them and James sat on the sofa beside me.

"You nervous?" I asked as he stole on of my sandwiches. James ate when he was nervous, even if he didn't know it himself.

"Na," he said, reaching for another and another. "The Slytherins will be a pushover this year," chew, chew. "Their defence is totally off and they have a sub on the attack. We are going to win." Fred didn't look so sure. He was hastily making a hole through his lip; being a beater was hard work it seemed.

"Wow, arrogant much Jamie?" He smirked at my comment. "Be careful or that broom of yours won't be able to handle the weight of your giant head."

He raised an eyebrow. "At least I know how to fly." He pushed me in the ribs. "Hey bookworm, what 'bout that?"

I scowled. "I was going to wish you good luck. Now you can just go fall off your broom."

"Mum and Dad wouldn't be very pleased to hear their only daughter talk like that, but then, are they very pleased with little miss Lily any more? I wonder…" I punched him in the stomach, my face flushing as it always did when I was mad.

"Geez, do you two fight like this all the time?" Cheeky laughed.

"Only twenty-four-seven." Fred laughed, "Believe me, I know."

I glared at him too. "Want me to give you a black eye too Fred?"

"Whoa." He said. "Calm it Lily. I was only saying…. Remember Last Christmas?"

I groaned, I had heard this story one too many times.

"What happened last Christmas?" Charming grinned (he was still annoyed with me for "ruining" his hair.)

Fred began to tell the story. "Well last Christmas Lily here was given the twilight saga as a Christmas present from our Aunt Hermione, causing Lily to become insanely obsessed with vampires/glitter/teeth for over a week. And on Christmas, when these two got into a fight over the last Christmas cracker, Lily bit James on the arm so hard that he started to bleed, causing him to faint for his strange fear of blood; right onto the table and the Christmas dinner."

The others laughed, while I hid my red face in my hands. Although James did too - fainting over the sight of blood was not exactly his greatest moment, so all was not bad.

**

* * *

**

Chatty's POV

Clever had required quite a lot of restraining to prevent her from strangling the Gryffindor chaser a few hours before the first match of the season, but we managed it, although with great difficulty and a few near-disasters. Cheeky had been incredibly helpful in sedating her with toffee while we were on the way to breakfast. We had advised James to sit a long way away from his sister, and he hastily agreed, leaving us alone at the end of the table with only each other and a exceedingly large bowl of jelly for company.

"Hmm... topic of conversation, topic of conversation?" Charming was sounding slightly stressed, although personally I didn't see the urgent need to do much other than eat, and that was a lot coming from me.

Everyone in the hall looked tense. The Great Hall was really crowded, especially the Gryffindor and Slytherin tables, where many other people had migrated to, to give their team a boost. A group of Hufflepuff boys were running a betting booth at the back of the hall; currently both teams were equal. Even from out end of the table, I could hear the Gryffindor captain, already briefing her players in the weather and how to handle the stress.

"You do know it is just a game, right?" I said loudly, and was received by blank stares. It seemed to me that I was the only one who didn't spend their life watching idiots on brooms. Even Clever was nervously biting her lip.

Which was precisely when the rest of the first year Gryffindors sat at the table. At first, I thought it was strange. Firstly, they did not like us, secondly they thought us weird. Maybe it was because we got detentions all the time and successfully managed to annoy everyone, or that we got in the weirdest situations and didn't actually talk to the other Gryffindors. But they never, ever sat in our spot near the back of the hall, by the windows.

And meanwhile, Mark was smiling at me. He winked his grey eyes at me when he sat (even though he was a midget and a few inches smaller than me). He looked like a porcupine with his spiky blonde hair.

Jenna was glaring hard at us all, (except for Charming) as she nibbled on one of the healthy snack bars she stores under her bed. We had come to realise that apart from the overload of coffee and the occasional bit of celery, she had a worse diet than me.

"So Green," She smiled at Charming, who barely turned to face her until I kicked him the shin, seeing as no one used his real name often. "Are you going to try out for Quidditch in a few years too? You were really good in the lessons and I think you would be _amazing_ on the team." Her lips curled when she said amazing. Out of all of us, Charming was the best at Quidditch (which means he stayed on the broom for more than two minutes) and was incredibly cocky over it. He laughed at us when I refused to take part, desperate for when we stopped flying lessons after next week, and the Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws had their turn. I couldn't wait for normal classes on that Monday afternoon, even if it was going to be History of Magic.

Charming smirked (shallow much?) "I wasn't really thinking about it, it is a long time away."

Jenna leaned in to murmur in his ear, and smiled. "Well you should. I think we've had enough of the Potter and Weasley clan on the teams. Goodness knows there is a hell of a lot of that rabble."

Clever went bright red, glaring hard daggers at Jenna's health bar. No one said anything bad about her family. Especially not Jenna May Roberts.

"Why you little!" Clever cried, reaching across the table (knocking cereal and jam everywhere) and attempting to strangle Jenna. She would have, if Cheeky hadn't stopped her. . Clever struggled, trying to slap Jenna, but her hands were held by her sides. "How **dare**you say that about my family!" Clever shouted then proceeded to glare at Jenna with such intensity that even Jenna quaked.

And somehow, in the next few seconds, most of the Potter and Weasley clan seemed to have gathered round the end of the Gryffindor table, until all of them were glaring at the (slightly scared) thin girl.

"Geez Lily, take a chill pill! It was only a joke!" Jenna insured, stuttering.

But no one believed her.

"Lily," Albus, her brother said stonily. "What was this girl saying about us?"

"She said that we were a rabble." Clever relaxed and stopped struggling, but Cheeky kept a stern eye on her.

I think the sight of seeing a long line of people, most older than her and all able to tell her off and get her in trouble might have terrified Jenna, as (stuttering even more) she hurriedly said sorry and ran off, out of the hall. Gee, for a Gryffindor she had very little courage.

Albus ruffled Lily's hair as he left, grinning. "I see what you mean Lils. Very evil."

The rest of the first years soon left, following after Jenna like lost puppies.

And normality returned, or at least what was normal for crazy Quidditch fans.

Cheeky and Charming began a long discussion about which team had a higher chance of winning (a very biased conversation as I could hear, because it kept referring back to the phrase "Because we're awesome!") Clever threw in a few comments, whilst I sunk lower and lower under the table, reading Witch Weekly. They were running a competition for the Countries best young designer, and I was thinking of entering with some of the designs I had made for the Halloween Ball. If they liked your design, you would be put into the semi finals, and then the final, when the contestants had to make the best outfit possible in an hour, with no help or magic and using the equipment they gave you. The winner would be given a large cash prize and as much magical machinery as they could wish for! I so wanted to win!

But then, there was the problem that you needed permission from you parent/carer, which I didn't have. Because I wasn't speaking to my parents.

But let us not dwell on the miserable black hole that is my family.

Because, after all, we have to go watch people fall of their brooms. What fun.

* * *

**Charming's POV**

Despite the multiple layers of clothing she was wearing, Clever insisted that she was freezing, so now I was the one with very cold fingers, no coat to call my own and the prospect of frost bite to please me.

I loved Quidditch, and my dad had played it with me when I was a kid.

Before... But I loved playing, and I had by own broom at home which I got for my last birthday. For this birthday my mum had sent me socks, books, chocolate, pranks and a hairbrush (which I had decided to feed to Clever's teddy as soon as possible).

And now I am cold and bored of explaining the rules of Quidditch to Chatty (who isn't even listening).

Life is just great.

"What they really should do," Chatty rambled, reading a long list of beauty products that were said to make "hair no-no's a no-no!" "Is get a refreshment stall on the pitch, so we don't get hungry. Because like it or not, Quidditch sounds really long and really boring. And I'm not talking about a lot of food, just a hot dog stall or some burgers…"

Cheeky groaned. "Great. Now I'm hungry."

"We had breakfast twenty minutes ago." Clever pointed out. "How can you be hungry?"

"I didn't get to eat much, seeing as someone knocked all the food on to the floor." Cheeky retorted, glaring at Clever.

"But you still managed to eat all the scrambled eggs, three slices of bread plus a couple of sausages?!" I raised an eyebrow. "Even I don't eat that much."

"But you are weight conscious. I don't really care. Girls don't really care. Why should we care what we eat?"

"Actually girls do care. Short, fat boys in skinny jeans is a total no-no." Chatty barely looked up from the magazine when she said this. "And you love skinny jeans."

"I do not love them. I just like them."

"Mate, you have eighteen pairs." I pointed out, looking at the jeans which Cheeky was wearing today, which were in fact yellow.

"If all of you are going to continuously mock my diet and fashion sense, then I am leaving."

"Bye!" We all smirked as he stalked off, before laughing when he turned right back. Sulking was a talent of his, but he really was bad at keeping it up.

"Come on." Clever said. "Let's go sit down. I want good seats."

"When is this going to end?" Chatty inquired about a minute after we had sat down.

"Chatty. It hasn't started yet!" I groaned. She really could be very impatient. Although at least she wasn't asleep, as Clever appeared to be. I poked her, and my eyebrows, which had only just recovered from the last time I did that, became singed once more. I made a mental note not to do that again in future, and wished I was a slightly faster learner.

Cheeky suggested shaving them off and replacing them with eyeliner or false moustaches, and for that he was shoved off his seat, sustaining no serious injuries. I never said anything about no not quite life threatening ones. He clambered back up again, rubbing his arm.

"Ow."

"Serves you right."

"Stop bickering boys, I think the game's about to finally start."

"He started it!" we both protested in unison, pointing at the other.

"Desist! At once!" Clever snapped, and we fell silent. Most people do, faced with her wrath, and eyebrow singeing talents.

The quaffle was thrown into the air, and the game began. I watched with rapt attention as James Potter grabbed the largest ball, shoving several Slytherins out of the way, and even barging into his own team-mates a few times. His tactic was effective, but at risk of being called a foul, but Professor Bell kept being distracted by other players accusing Slytherins of trying to knock them off their brooms. I wondered if I was the only one who noticed this blatant display of almost-cheating. The boos and hisses from the Slytherins were almost drowned out by the cheering of the Gryffindors as he scored the first goal. Almost, but not quite.

I looked around. Cheeky was cheering vigorously with all the other patriotic Gryffindors, while Chatty appeared to be dozing off, and was looking around confusedly wondering what all the fuss was about. Clever was glaring angrily at her brother, who was now basking in all the glory, a smug and arrogant expression on his face.

"So this is how he gets all the goals," she growled under her breath. "I always knew he couldn't possibly actually have any real talent." I had to admit, I agreed with her. The hero of the Gryffindor team was exceedingly irritating.

"That looks fun," Chatty dreamily said, watching the beaters whack bludgers around. She appeared to have forgotten her fear of brooms now that she wasn't actually at risk of being on one.

The game wore on, James scored more and more goals, and the expression on Clever's face soured and soured. The score was 270-nil, with Gryffindor in the lead, as the Slytherin team had not actually been able to touch the quaffle. The beaters fended off the bludgers, the other two chasers distracted the referee, the seekers desperately sook the snitch, but had no luck, and James went on scoring points, growing more proud and more annoying by the minute. And there were about two hours worth of them, so his already overinflated head had grown quite a bit.

"When is this game going to end?" moaned Chatty for about the 44th time. I didn't really blame her. Poor Clever's brother was really getting on my nerves. I dreaded to think what it would be like to have to live with him.

"As I have told you before, when one of the seekers catches the golden snitch."

"What does this golden snitch actually look like?" She seemed bored with the game, and once again I had to agree. I had taken to focusing on the beaters, and each time they hit a bludger, imagining it was that fool's head.

"Well, it's small, and round, gold, with silver wings."

"Like this, then?" She brought an object about the right size out of her pocket, and opened her hand just enough for us to be able to see it but not for it to be able to fly away. My eyes widened in shock. "It was playing around here about an hour ago, and I caught it. It's so prettiful."

"You. Caught. The golden snitch. An hour ago. And it's been sitting in your pocket ever since while we have had to watch that foul boy scoring goals and threatening to drive us all mad?" Clever knew her anger was irrational, and should have been directed at her brother, but that didn't stop it from seeping out.

"Umm… yes?"

"Well let it go, and we can get the game over with!"

"But it's so pretty!"

"Listen, do you want to be stuck here for all eternity?"

"Not really. Fine." And with that she reluctantly opened her hand, and we watched it fly away, until it buzzed right in front of the face of the Slytherin seeker, a pale blonde boy with long hair, who took a wile to spot it nudging his forehead, but then held out his hand, and let it settle there.

I cheered, and was stared at strangely by the other Gryffindors, Clever, Cheeky and Chatty excepted, and hastily sat down again. But the rest of the school appeared to echo my sentiment (seeing as Gryffindor had won), and there was much rejoicing as we all headed back up to the great hall for a much needed lunch.

* * *

**Cheeky's POV**

The party in the Gryffindor common room was loud and boisterous as ever. Early though it was, butterbeer and all types of food were on any available space, and the party was a happy thing.

Clever was sulking in a corner eating from a stack of chocolate frogs, (her brother remained the centre of attention and was taking it happily, dancing and laughing with the older boys). Chatty was nowhere to be found, having gone to fetch our costumes. She was slightly sad for the loss of the golden snitch, and tried to make us go fetch it from the cupboard, which we were pretty sure was locked. After hitting us over the head and threatening to make out outfits terrible or worse, give them to someone else; we agreed to find her one so she could play with "the pretty buzzy thing".

Charming and I, meanwhile, had worked out that about half of the seventh years probably wouldn't make it to the ball due to the fact that they were drinking a lot of alcohol, and we were trying to get some for us, but failing because the prefects were threatening to shut down the party over all, and send us outside.

"That is really selfish of you to try and drink alcohol and ruin the party for everyone else." Clever scolded, prodding one of the pictures she had got in a chocolate frog, and trying to make it move.

"We're not going to get caught. We just want to try the Firewhisky." I explained, eyeing a particularly drunk seventh year as he left his bottle of the nearest table; over half full.

"Yes, but you are kids. That could seriously damage your brain cells." Clever muttered. "Not that you have any, from the looks of your potions assignment."

"Ha Ha Ha." Charming laughed sarcastically. "Anyway, it is my birthday. I am 12 years old, and I want some Firewhisky!" He said the last part very similarly to a whining toddler. And he then pouted. And I'm supposed to be the immature one.

And after that, we went to get the bottle of the table, and split it into two cups. Clever (after rolling her eyes at us in disgust) began stacking the chocolate frog cards up into a tower.

"One. Two. Three." I said, and Charming and I both put the glass of Firewhisky to out mouth…

And promptly spat it back out.

"Ergh," I said, as I glugged down Butterbeer, trying to get rid of the really strong taste.

"She didn't see us." Charming said, pointing at Clever, who was failing to stand the cards up for more than 3 seconds. "We can still do the manly thing and pretend we drank it." We agreed and went to sit back down.

Without looking at us, Clever laughed. "You didn't drink any did you?"

"How did you know?" I asked; Charming glared at me.

"Because if you had really drunk that much, you wouldn't have stalked over here and managed to not sit on Chatty's cat. If you're young, Firewhisky can have a really strong effect on your mental health."

I groaned. "It has to be one of the most disgusting things I have eaten in my entire life, and I have lived with both Andy's cooking and Venus' facial masks. And believe me, warm banana and yogurt is not as nice as it sounds."

"If I haven't said this before, your family scares me." Charming said, helping Clever make the tower—of-cards.

"Only because your family is so boring they couldn't fit on a Droobles gum wrapper." I retorted.

"Actually, the new giant Droobles gum variety has a really interesting package design." Clever said, as she flicked a picture of Merlin.

"Geek." Charming and I said, laughing. She sniffed, and flicked a card at my head.

It was then that Chatty wandered back in, her eyes widening slightly (if that was possible) at the sight of the slightly-overly-tipsy Gryffindors around the tables.

She smiled as she saw us, and then handed Charming and I large, matching black bags. "Change. Now." She ordered. "And make sure you don't look at the costumes before hand. Charms, watch Cheeky, and vice versa. And make sure you get dressed at half six. Don't open them before."

We nodded silently, and Chatty grabbed Clever's hand and dragged her off, Clever shooting us desperately scared looks as she left. It was still just four thirty, so we could fit in several hours of wizard's chess before then. And I was going to win this time.


	9. The Halloween Ball & Fireworks

**Disclaimer- Not. Mine. All. JKR's. **

**Chapter 9- The Halloween Ball & Fireworks**

**Clever's POV**

I couldn't help but be afraid of the costume as I pulled it on. I was blindfolded, so I couldn't see anything at all. All I knew was that I was wearing a very tight costume, some sort of tutu and I was pretty sure that I was wearing both a hat and a mask. Chatty sat me on the bed whilst she got dressed, and then returned to fix my hair.

I complained loudly the whole time.

She turned the dial on the CD player up, blasting out cheerfully over-the-top pop music. Very Muggle. She hummed along, clearly not realising that I was dying of boredom.

I scowled more and more as she brushed my hair. Brushed and brushed and brushed. Because of course, my hair, which I had worn plaited for the past few days, was as frizzy and impossible to brush as could be. "Ow." I cried again, as she pulled the brush free, causing me immense pain. In the end she sprayed it with tons of some sort of spray, until I could feel my now wet hair deflating. Then she brushed it, and put my in tiny rollers and covered my head with a towel.

"Now. Makeup."

"MAKEUP?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME!" Chatty ignored me as she lined me eyes and brushed a strongly smelling powder on my cheeks.

"Stopitstopitstopit." I muttered.

When she eventually finished, pulling the blindfold from my face and pushing me in front of the mirror, I was shocked at what I saw.

I was a cat. Not just any cat, but a black, tutu wearing, proudly-sporting-a-green-tee-shirt cat. My hair wasn't the usual mess I knew; in fact it was curled delicately around my face, and the usual gingery-over-the-top look was gone: my hair sparkled. You could see my blue eyes clearly against my pale skin, while my cheeks were red as usual.

But it didn't look too bad. The gold cat mask sparked. The funny cat headband was a good contrast to my hair, nestled in the ringlets. Somehow Chatty had got a pair of legwarmers on my feet, but thankfully I was still wearing my favourite shoes.

Chatty grinned at my shocked expression. "See." She smirked. "I am good at designing costumes." I laughed.

She smiled as she fixed her hair into spikes. It was sprayed black, shiny and there was a thick layer of glitter on it that shimmered in the light. She was wearing an almost princess blue dress- like the dress Tiana wore in the Princess and the Frog. The gold tiara and glittery earrings shone. Her skin was very pale, an almost translucent white. There were shadows under her eyes, which were gold from contacts, and rimmed with black lashes.

I laughed. "You're a vampire. A twilight vampire."

"Why of course! And I'm Alice." She rubbed glitter on her arms and pulled on long white gloves. She sipped on her drink and looked at the clock. "Nearly time. C'mon lets go!" She stumbled on the steps but danced out, the epitome of pixie craziness.

The common room was alight with glowing candles in pumpkins, other candles on all surfaces. Cobwebs hung from the walls and banners draped. People were cheerful as they sat in groups, wearing costumes that varied from goblins to aliens.

We sat and waited for the boys.

When they finally managed to make their way down the stairs, I was laughing so hard I thought they would take me away to a mental hospital. They both looked like they had had showers and washed their hair (shocking, I know) instead of spraying themselves all over with deodorant.

Cheeky was wearing a spacesuit. Not just any space suit, but a pink spacesuit with all the buttons and all the gadgets and gizmos on it. There was a giant purple helmet on his head with gold stars on the side. So realistic was this costume, from the buttons to the big boots and arms, that Cheeky could barely move his arms. He glared at Chatty.

"Real funny. Just because my name is Space you had to put me in a giant helmet." But he was only joking. He seemed to enjoy walking in that odd, on-the-moon way.

Charming had a bit more trouble getting down the stairs. Maybe it was the fact that he had a lot of prickly leaves as a hat. Or the fact that he was very wide from the spikes. Because Charming was, quite simply, a pineapple. And a very realistic one at that (if his face meant anything), because the sides looked very sharp.

"A Pineapple!" I half shouted, before falling off my chair as I was laughing so hard. Chatty stood up to fix his hat, smiling.

"Perfect." She grinned. "Exactly like I expected it to be. We all look great!"

"Great?" Charming spat. "I look like an orange moron!"

Chatty pouted and sniffed. "I think you look good."

Cheeky put a comforting arm round her. "We all do. You did a great job with the costumes Tee."

She smiled. "We'd better be going, if we want to get there in time."

Thus ensued the task that was getting Cheeky and Charming through the portrait hole and out into the common room. Charming tried to get through, but as the hole was very small and his costume very round, when he tried to climb through, he got stuck. Cheeky laughed hysterically at the sight of Charming struggling to move his arms, which were pinned to his sides.

Compromising, we managed to get him out of the hole and back into the common room, and then I climbed out and tried to pull him through. Suddenly, the novelty of the pineapple suit wore off as my hands stung from the spikes. "You just had to make him a pineapple!" I yelled, pulling on Charming's arm.

"Ow Ow Ow Ow Ow!" He yelled. "The spikes are being indented into my stomach and other very vital places!"

Eventually he was out in the corridor, and sitting sulking by the wall while Chatty and I tried to get Cheeky through. Fortunately, his costume was equipped with a very useful button that allowed it to be deflated and reflated whenever we chose.

Smirking, he stepped out into the corridor wearing a much deflated space suit, which we then had to reflate. For some reason, when we reflated it, it required a long amount of time, and made him look fatter than ever.

Then, Cheeky pulling on his space helmet, Charming flicking and rearranging the leaves on his head, and Chatty curtsying to no one in particular, we charged down the corridor to the great hall, where the Halloween Ball had almost begun.

* * *

**Cheeky's POV**

They put me in a spacesuit. Not just any spacesuit, but a pink and purple space suit. With stars. I was grateful at least for the helmet being slightly tinted, or else everyone would have seen my blush. It was pink. Very damaging to my social status.

But there was something about space. Not just because that was my name (but that was pretty awesome.) My dad had loved space. That was why my sisters and I had such weird names, why the inside of our house looked like a rocket ship had exploded space-ness everywhere. My dad even worked in one of those giant muggle space stations. He would visit at the weekends. His dream was to explore outer space, see all of it. Too bad he never got to fulfil his dream.

So I grew up in a house with 6 sisters. Just about survived. It is not easy having to sit at a table when all the people at it can talk about is makeup and clothes, not cool stuff like Quidditch.

And I'll admit it, it was a good costume. Chatty had made it well - it even fitted.

And who cared if it was embarrassing. Everyone was wearing stupid costumes.

When they finally opened up the doors to the Great Hall, I was honestly shocked.

The walls were hung with festive decorations: cobwebs, ancient tapestries, shadowy figures. Long lines of candles were strung under the clear black sky, pumpkins and smoking goblets on the tables.

It was overflowing with students all crazily dressed. There appeared to be a giant combination of an elephant and a rhinoceros towering above the rest of the crowd, presumably made up of several students, and someone else had come as a tree, the whomping willow by the looks of it, and a full scale model, complete with (real time?) moving branches. I wasn't the worst costume, at least.

I accidentally crashed into the Slytherin seeker (Scorpius Malfoy I think his name was), who appeared to be dressed as Harry Potter, which caused Clever to burst into giggles. She also emitted a very strange high pitched sound, which sounded suspiciously like a combination of "Squee!" and "Yayness!" upon spotting someone, apparently her cousin Rose, dressed as a teddy bear with six inch fangs, a bow which apparently doubled as a hand grenade with wings, and a (23rd century) bazooka. We were treated to an exceedingly fast and squeaky lecture on this, which none of us could understand. We eventually just decided that there was no way us lesser mortals stood a chance of understanding the inner workings of a mind such as hers, and that she was going hyper and there was nothing that we could do about it.

Hugo, a fairly reticent Gryffindor boy who was also Clever's cousin (was she related to the entire school or something?) wandered past dressed as a fearsome pirate, the effect of which was slightly ruined by the fact that he kept tripping over his own swords. It seemed the clumsiness ran in the family (or at least part of it) as Clev was always dropping stuff or bashing into it.

As she did with a camel, which yelled angrily at her and was easily recognisable as Fred and James (a brother and yet another cousin! This was getting ridiculous!). Any minute now we were going to run into Albus (her other brother) dressed as a pumpkin.

It was to my slight surprise that we did actually run into him (well, he tripped over Clever's tail, which she had somehow enchanted to swing around at her command, and which appeared to be very useful for surreptitiously snatching drinks from tables), and he was in fact dressed as a pumpkin. An orange one, admittedly, while I had been expecting purple, but a pumpkin outfit nonetheless.

I recognised my own sister Moon's flying pig fetish, as she and her twin, Stella, flapped about over our heads in pig costumes with wings that had had a spell put on them so that the actually flew. Chatty's brother Indiana could be seen skulking in a corner dressed as a pointy eared alien in a blue shirt, at the sight of which Clever nearly exploded.

I spotted what appeared to be a walking ball of fluff but revealed itself to be the ultimate evil one (Jenna, in other words), who then continued to try (and fail dismally) to flirt with Charming until our saviour came in the form of Professor Longbottom dressed as a ninja pirate (the teachers had come too) who began to lecture Jenna on her overdue Herbology homework. Madam Turpin walked passed dressed as either a penguin or an insane chicken, I was not quite sure which, and I was fairly sure I saw a turnip somewhere in the crowd, although it could have been a prawn, as this spacesuit was incredibly hard to see out of, though this fortunately meant that it was also quite hard to see in to, which meant that no one could recognise me, which was always a good sign when you were in a pink spaceman outfit. Charming did not have the same luxury, and a pineapple could well be said to be worse. Although at least it wasn't pink.

"Are we supposed to be dancing or anything?" I nervously asked. Even though I had grown up surrounded by girls, I didn't really know much about balls, and most certainly couldn't dance. Although I somehow doubted most people could, in an outfit like this.

"No, you silly person. We are supposed to be blowing up the Latin department."

"But we don't have a Latin department." I was slightly confused. Fine, very. "And that hasn't answered the question."

Clever gave an exasperated sigh. "It's called sarcasm. Does it look like we're supposed to be dancing?"

"Umm... well..." I looked around. Some people, the ones closer to the stage, were, while the rest stood awkwardly round the snack table (like us), talking. Some were laughing, others trying to sneak some of the large supply of sweets into their bag, some trying to spike the drinks with something much worse. I made a mental note to stay away from the green and purple punch.

Somehow the school had hired in the Rolling Cauldrons, one of the most popular wizards bands today, and they were standing on the stage performing an extremely loud and incredibly good rendition of the Muggle classic "Yellow Submarine", although no doubt Clever would claim that the original was far better. She was quite happily whistling along to it though, so she couldn't have thought it was that bad.

I had had to remove my helmet in order to eat the food, but it was a reasonable sacrifice to make for all the awesome sweets. The full Honeydukes selection was there, including Jelly Slugs, Fudge Flies, Ice Mice and gazillions of Chocolate Frogs all piled of the table around food like éclairs and mini cupcakes.

It was about ten minutes later that the world exploded.

Well, fine, not exactly the world per se (don't ask me what that means. Clever's the one that speaks Latin. She's also probably fluent in ancient Greek, but that's irrelevant.), just the ceiling. But that was bad enough. It certainly caused as much chaos as the earth exploding, if not more, as if the world had blown up there wouldn't be any people to panic and cause general mayhem.

And there was certainly a lot of panicking. The elephant-rhinoceros fell over backwards, probably injuring the people inside and also squishing the poor people that it fell on. There was general screaming and people rushing about like insane, demented, headless chickens on a sugar rush, caffeine, and also a large cocktail of other, less innocent drugs.

And then even that universal constant of how humans deal with disasters ceased to be, as a wave of silence swept across the hall, paralysing everything in its path. For the source of the whole incident was now visible, standing on top of the drum kit. I groaned, and tried to savour my last minutes at Hogwarts.

Because the cause of all this mayhem, of course, just had to be Clever's demon teddy bear, or Fluffy as she insisted we call the thing. I could have sworn that she said that it was in an escape-proof box, but that appeared not to be the case.

"Oh no." Clever said, as she observed Fluffy as it observed everyone else. "Why did I have to enchant that teddy?"

We watched the bear, as with supreme skill, it began to chuck very hot fire-balls at the head of a group of chickens. "Fire?!" I yelled. "We are fighting a teddy bear with fire powers?!"

On looking around the room, I found to my disgust that no one was even considering stopping the thing, and most people thought that screaming and yelling "It's alive! It's alive!" was helping.

We knew it wasn't, because the bear was laughing and began to add jelly to the fireballs, so as well as being potentially burnt to death, we all were faced with the possibility that we would be very sticky.

I groaned. "Well. We might as well try and stop it." So we (Charming, Chatty, Clever and I) sunk down into our super-hero/spy poses and got ready to fight the demon teddy; in fancy dress.

"Here, Fluffy!" Clever called soothingly, approaching the bear slowly, like one would go to a wounded animal. "Good girl. Now put down the fire. Yes, down." A few minutes later, she definitely regretted this as she was covered in jelly.

Charming then disappeared into the crowd of people around the door, just as Chatty and I started wondering what our game plan was. "Where are you going?" I yelled after him, but he didn't respond, just ran out of sight.

A few of the more drunk students hadn't noticed that anything was wrong; so sat on their table drinking and laughing. One of them, boastfully laughing and edged on by his friends, chucked an old bottle at the bear. It hit her on the head, and the bear growled and turned menacingly towards the boy.

Then, in front of our more than startled eyes, Fluffy the bear grew. Grew and grew, until she was as tall as the elephant thing. She took one giant step towards them, but was instantly stopped by someone climbing on his back and hitting her. Chatty in fact. Pulling her shoes from her feet, she had jumped, dress and all, onto the back of Fluffy and whilst not trying to calm her down, was distracting her by hitting his head.

"You. Will. Not. Squish. Them!" She cried, prodding and poking. I joined in, hitting the teddy's ankles with a chair.

And then Charming charged back in, having abandoned the hat and most of the spikes on his pineapple costume holding all our water guns.

"Water?! That was your genius plan?" I cried, trying to stop Fluffy from treading on me, which meant running in circles.

"It's not water!" He yelled, chucking me one of the water guns. "It is a shrinking potion. Stole it from the store-cupboard."

"Genius!" Clever yelled, as she too grabbed a water gun and tried to spray it at Fluffy.

Fluffy did not seem to like this idea very much, as she took that moment to start singing.

If any of you have had the misfortune to hear a mermaid sing, I would like to tell you that this was worse, a lot worse. The screeching sound ripped round the room, shattering glass and making the few remaining people scream louder than ever. Oh dear, were we in trouble!

We all covered our ears quickly; dropping the potion filled water guns until they hit the floor of the great hall. Clever struggled forwards to try and get to Fluffy, but tripped over the water gun and ended up sending the whole mixture up into the air.... where it spun round and round.... and landed on our heads. Well, more particularly the heads of Fluffy, Chatty and I. And then we started shrinking.

Well, to us it looked rather more as though the world was growing, but I was aware of the unfortunate contents of that water gun, and knew that it was the other way around, and could only desperately hope that they could find an antidote, and that in the meantime we were not shrunk too small. Although being squished seemed to be the most pressing danger at the moment.

A table hit my head on the way down, and that was the last I knew for quite some time, except a few very strange and unpleasant sensations.

* * *

**Charming's POV**

The bear was now very small. As were Cheeky and Chatty, so we carefully put them in the nearest empty pumpkin. Then, Clever and I picked up the terrible dangerous teddy and carried it to the nearest table. I held it down, as it squirmed. Clever muttered a spell, and then, quite suddenly, Fluffy the bear was no more. Quite still and small in fact. Scooping her up, Clever tucked her into her pocket to dispose of, and we headed off to the Hospital Wing to make our friends grow to their usual height.

People were beginning to come out from under tables, and the Rolling Cauldrons began to play a fast cheerful tune, pleased that the bear was subdued and (as Clever sobbed into my sleeve) dead.

Clever's makeup ran down her face as she carried the bag with Fluffy's head sticking out. I was carrying the pumpkin, and in it were the pixie sized Cheeky and Chatty, both unconscious. I laughed at their perfectly still faces and their tiny hands. The tiny spaceman and vampire in the bottom of a smirking pumpkin.

"We need to hold a proper funeral for poor Fluffy. And not just a short one, a real one! With flowers and an organ!" She then began to list all of the people who should invite, but I had stopped listening.

The pineapple costume I was wearing was annoying me, as I saw my reflection in the Halloween-dressed statues.

We eventually arrived at the Hospital Wing, and soon enough Cheeky and Chatty were their usual size and conscious. Upset, but conscious.

The party was still in full swing in the Great Hall, but we decided that we didn't want to go back, so after initializing our food snatching scheme, we hid outside in the shadow of the castle, laughing as we ate cakes and smiled at the moon.

"What a strange birthday this has been." I muttered, chewing on my pumpkin pasty.

They nodded, as Clever began to tell us random facts about the stars (as she did when no one was talking).

Soon the fireworks started, and we were dazzled by the bright colours and whizzing, whooshing pictures in the sky- much better than muggle fireworks.

Comfortable on the ground, we almost wouldn't have moved if Chatty hadn't jumped up and gasped.

"I forgot, my mum wants me to get some photos of you guys, to show her." She pulled out a camera and turned it on, the lights flashing and beeping.

"Is it supposed to do that?" I asked curiously - I had never seen a muggle camera before.

"Yeah." She smirked as I examined it. "Say Cheese!" She cried as she held the camera out to take a picture.

The bright flash dazzled me for a minute, as it did to the others.

"Whoa." Cheeky said, shutting his eyes. "What was that?"

Chatty laughed. "Geez, you would think you guys had never been around cameras before."

"We haven't." Clever explained. "But I know that if you develop it right, you can make it move."

Chatty rolled her eyes "Like I could do that," and then turned to take another picture. This time, we were ready, so laughing and smiling we pulled faces (sticking our tongue out and bugging our eyes- Cheeky was making us laugh so hard it was nearly impossible).

The camera flashed on the end of another good day.

* * *

_Hope you enjoy! This was a really quick update, I am personally very proud. Leave a review, tell me what you thought! _

_Little game- Count the star trek references! There are a lot, and they are all Kat's. _

_PRESS THE BUTTON. _

_love, Ali and Kat. _


	10. Of Funerals & Snow

**Chapter 10 – ****of Funerals & ****Snow!**

**Charming's POV**

Clever had not been taking the death of her teddy bear well, it seemed. Most of us had to cope with our toys inanimate, as I had pointed out, but this was greeted with an angry glare, another burst of tears, and something about "but at least we still had them". Ah yes. We had had to get rid of Fluffy (the demonic teddy was evil, cursed, and she had called it Fluffy?), as it was too dangerous not to, and also might be incriminating evidence.

We had been remarkably lucky in that the teachers were too busy praising us for our 'heroic' efforts to save everyone from the bear that none had yet asked where it came from, and, even if we were the only ones capable of dealing with a crisis situation (referring to everyone else standing and screaming), if the teachers discovered that it was our fault we were doomed.

And so, Cheeky and I were now walking down the stairs to the common room, actually on time for once, to attend Fluffy's funeral.

Much to my surprise, our arrival sparked off another round of sobbing from Clever, who was leaning on Chatty's shoulder. She had been crying a lot recently, and I knew the funeral would be depressing for her, but really? Just our arrival?

"You…" she choked. "Just because it's only a teddy and I couldn't find a proper place to do it in doesn't mean you don't have to be respectful!" I managed to make out through her angry squeals. I gave Chatty a 'Help! Please Explain!' look, and she gestured to her clothing. Ah.

Both Clever and Chatty were wearing, I now noticed, black dresses, which could well have been left over from yesterday's Halloween costumes, but which certainly looked anything but festive. Cheeky, on the other hand, was wearing his favourite pair of yellow skinny jeans, odd socks, no shoes, and a red woolly jumper that could have had its own history of magic lesson written on it, so many holes it had. I was little better, in blue frayed jeans with very little material left at the knees, my green sneakers, and a blue and black stripey jumper with patches at the elbows, topped with my Gryffindor woolly hat, as it was a little too cold for my liking. Oops.

"Umm, well, err… We'll just go and change then…"

She seemed to have calmed down enough now to actually be intelligible (whatever that means. Too long a word), but was still clearly fuming. If a little damp. "There's no point now. Just stay." We nodded, not wishing to induce any more of her wrath.

We gathered around the fire, as Fluffy's body had been unceremoniously dumped in one of the bins at the ball, which Clever had been slightly distressed about. She began, a single tear rolling down her cheek, but her voice remaining uncracked. "Dear Fluffy, we shall always remember you, and we shall always love you. You have been the best bear anyone could ask for, and we are incredibly sorry about the whole demon incident, and that we could not do any better for you. I love you Fluffy!" And with that she once more broke down into sobs, slowly sliding to the floor at Chatty's feet.

"Umm… er… Fluffy, you were awesome, and though I didn't really get to know you, I wish I could have done. You will remain dearest in our hearts always." Chatty somehow with nervous speed managed to get that all out in one breath, and then let out a deep sigh of relief, as she no longer had to say anything.

Argh! We had to make speeches! No one had mentioned this before! And it seemed to be my turn… Oh dear. I was no good at this kind of thing. Argh. "Ummm. Err… erm… Fluffy, we have been, and ever shall be, your friends. Live long, and prosper. Argh! No! That doesn't fit! Sorry. Umm… We hope you have a happier afterlife than this life, and we shall all miss you, and look forwards to meeting you there." Clever for some reason seemed to manage a weak smile at that contribution, in spite of my fatal slip-up of mentioning long life. If you spend enough time around someone like Clever, you do frequently end up knowing off by heart things that you have never even seen.

Cheeky, the perfect Shakespearean actor, or course had something prepared. He even appeared to have written a rhyming sonnet for the occasion. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes, but it seemed to make Clever laugh, even if it was slightly inappropriate for the occasion.

"Shall I compare thee to a coconut?

Thou hurtst less when thou fallst on someone's head.

Thou art nuttier than butter of peanut,

And for jelly sandwiches, we choose you instead."

We all duly applauded, and he bowed. "I spent all night writing that, you know." And all were happy, largely because of the large quantities of marshmallows now being handed around, and as long as no one mentioned the word 'Fluffy', all was fine.

* * *

_**Several weeks later- Thursday **__**16**__**t**__**h**__** December **__**(when would the term end?)**_

It was very nearly the last day of term. We were stuck in the warm but very boring charms class. Professor Herobine was giving us a lecture on some charm (what, I was expected to listen and sleep at the same time?) and no one (but Clever, of course) was paying attention.

Five minutes and we would be on holiday.

I think we all needed it. School was tiring to say the least, and Cheeky was bored of having to be well behaved in every class, a task we were going to continue for a while. Never the less, we had been behaving very well and the teachers seemed to like us. Seriously.

And finally, holidays!

We had decided to meet up sometime during the holidays, and Clever had invited us round to hers for New Years, but we were all going home tomorrow, by the train.

Chatty was painting her toenails. How she got away with it, I do not know; laying out a set of vibrant colours and toe setters on her desk, and then proceeding to paint her toes pink or green or blue. She painted her nails at least three times a week. Maybe she managed it because Professor Herobine was very short sighted and always lost his glasses. Usually in the soup.

Cheeky was spitting gum wads at Jack (our fellow and very annoying Gryffindor classmate). Most of these got stuck in his incredibly long black hair, and I highly doubted he would notice.

The second hand on the clock ticked closer to half two, and finally, when I was just about to die of boredom, the bell rang and school was over. This was loudly signalled by a loud stampede of people jumping from their seats and cheering. And at some point in this storm, Chatty's nail polish got chucked up in the air, landing on Cheeky's head, now an interesting green shade.

"Oh no!" Chatty cried, examining the now empty bottle, Cheeky's hair and her half painted toes. "And I LIKED that colour!"

"It's just nail polish," Clever reminded her as we all tidied it up.

"And how am I supposed to get it out of my hair?" Cheeky demanded, his hands coated in the varnish. "My hair is GREEN."

"It'll wash off." I comforted, looking around the now empty classroom. "Eventually."

He sulked as we chucked the empty bottle in the bin and went to go back to the tower. I looked out the window. It hadn't snowed yet, but they were expecting heavy snow on Saturday and Sunday. We were going to miss all of it. According to the teachers, not many people had signed up to stay at Hogwarts, which meant that no one was going to enjoy the snow.

"I wish we could stay." Clever sighed, looking out the window. "I have to spend the holidays being told how big I've gotten by older relatives. And being forced to sit at the kids table."

"It's terrible having a big family. Andy brings round her husband; who is a total idiot by the way; and Stella and Moon always burn or break something and get me into trouble." Cheeky sulked.

"At least some people talk at your Christmas Dinner!" Chatty pointed out. "My mum invites dad and his girlfriend and then no one talks and if anyone talks it is always an argument. Mum and dad fight, Indie and I fight… And then Encyclopaedia gets me into trouble."

Really, sometimes families were a waste of space.

We sat in our usual seats by the fire, and Chatty tried to get the worst of the paint out of Cheeky's hair. Which did not work, as it seemed to get worse. Eventually we stuck a hat on his head and went to pack our trunks.

* * *

**Clever's POV**

I woke up early the next morning and couldn't sleep. I remembered that I had to do something, but I wasn't able to remember what. I was barely waking up, half in the twilight world of dreams, half in the world.

I rubbed my eyes sleepily, and then caught what it said on my hand. I had written on it, in sparkly bubble writing "return book" and then I remembered. I had borrowed a book from the library and it was due in yesterday. Pulling on my jeans, tee shirt and a warm sweater, I tiptoed downstairs to the common room, out the portrait hole and then down the corridor to the library. It was freezing in the corridor, as it had been steadily getting colder and colder - in anticipation of the large blizzard tomorrow.

The library was empty and dark, but homely to me, so I crept in and sat on a table, by some of the more interesting books. They had lots of facts, on things both muggle and wizard matters.

I opened a large, old book and began to read, barely noticing the rush of feet outside or the ticking of the clock.

It seemed like only five minutes later that my elbow was being shaken, and someone was yelling my name.

I had fallen asleep.

"There you are!" Charming cried, still shaking my shoulder. "Come on, we have to go get the train!"

"What? The train isn't until eleven."

Charming sighed, exasperated. "And have you _looked _at the time recently?"

I looked at my watch, and gasped; it was nearly eleven. We were _never _going to make it!

He dragged me by the elbow out of the room, where we met Cheeky and Chatty, lugging a stack of trunks along.

My stomach grumbled loudly (no breakfast does that) as we raced down the stairs and out of the main doors. Scowling to know one in particular, I followed my friends across the grounds. It was freezing, the sky a miserable grey.

And we didn't make it. By the time we got to the station, the platform was empty and the few teachers that had been charged with making sure everyone but us got on were walking back, as the scarlet train puffed back to London.

I scowled, sitting on my trunk. "Well, there goes my Christmas pudding."

"Man." Cheeky scowled at the train as he too sat down. "We're so stuck at school."

It took us awhile to stand up and actually face the inevitable doom that was Christmas, at school, with only the teachers and a few other students.

"At least we have each other." Chatty beamed, dragging her trunk along (which meant stopping every few seconds due to the mass of it). "And we're not spending out holidays with our family failures." I grinned - that was something to be happy about.

All I knew was that my parents would not be happy about me skipping their Christmas bonanza, but it was hardly my fault if I had missed the train. They could sulk about me supposedly not writing to them at all often for as long as they liked, but I wasn't about to tell them all the things that were going on in my life. They would not be happy about me dyeing Jenna's underwear green or glaring at the Slytherins when they mocked me for answering another question in potions.

We eventually made it back to the Castle, just as the sky turned a deep grey that blocked out all light from the sun, even at noon, and we slowly made our way back to the common room. It was empty- no one was there. The entire school was eerily quiet; the silence rang in my ears as I talked to my friends.

We couldn't help speaking quieter than normal, or glancing around at the corridors more frequently, certain to meet someone.

It wasn't until several hours later that we did.

It turned out that there were a few third year Hufflepuffs, all equally annoying, Jasmine, a prefect in Ravenclaw and her younger brother Damian, and a fifth year Slytherin who did not like us at all.

Then there were the teachers. Some had gone home for the Holidays, something that didn't often happen, but most were still there at their table. The normal house tables had been replaced with just one table in the centre of the hall, as not many people remained. And even so, there was still a large space between all of the people, and the decorations looked quite lonely in their places.

Somehow, this week didn't look that great.

* * *

**Cheeky's POV**

The next morning, I woke up very late. So late, that at first I was completely unsure where I was supposed to be. _Classes? Breakfast? _I knew that if it was school or if I was at home, I would never be allowed to sleep in this long, someone was always waking me up.

And that was when someone did.

Chatty charged into the room with a loud bang, as the door slammed against the wall. She then propelled herself onto my bed, and started bouncing, whilst I blearily tried to work out what was going on. Then I saw what she was wearing. Which looked like half of an Eskimo's wardrobe: three sweaters and a really thick coat, two pairs of gloves, five hats and three scarves. A heavy snow boot landed on my feet and I yelled in pain, which she responded with an "oops" and jumped off the bed, just before pulling of the sheets and dragging me onto the floor, which was cold.

"You 're lucky he is wearing clothes this time." Charming smirked from his bed, as he stretched and shook his hair, causing it to get more messed up (if that was possible).

Clever grinned as well from the door, where she stood pulling on another scarf. "Now that could be pretty life-threatening." She high-fived Charming.

I scowled and rolled my eyes. "So it snowed then?"

"YES!" Chatty squealed, pulling open the curtains and causing loud groans from Charms and I. _Ah. _It was looking snowy. "Hurry up and get dressed! I want to go outside."

"Don't we get to eat first?" I asked; Chatty scowled.

"Here." Clever said; chucking a slice of toast at my head, buttery side down. "Enjoy."

"Great." I groaned, wiping it off my face.

Twenty minutes later and we were all standing in the entrance hall, ready to go outside, when we encountered the teachers.

"What are you Gryffindors doing here?" Professor Longbottom asked us when he entered the hall.

I sighed. "We missed the train. Someone went missing and we had to find her." I glared at Clever.

"Well, do your parents know?"

"I don't think so. But they should have realised by now, after we didn't get off the train."

"Well make sure you let them know."

"Yes sir." We said simultaneously, and he left us.

"Come on; let's go, let's go!" Chatty cried, putting another hat on and charging out the door.

We followed her, racing out into the grounds.

The snow covered everything, coating it all in a thick blanket of white. The only think that looked untouched was the Whomping Willow, which shook its branches free of the falling flakes.

The whole ground was one flat layer of white, and when you stepped on it your feet would leave huge sinking footprints behind you. It made it hard to go down the steps, as you couldn't see what was what.

The lake was iced over completely, and I made a mental note to go ice-skating on it soon, before it melted.

Chatty fell in the snow a few feet away from us and lay down, making snow-angels with her arms and legs.

"I'm an angel!" She yelled.

I laughed, just as a hard ball of snow hit the back of my neck. I spun around, and saw Clever, grinning like a maniac with a pile of round snowballs in her hands.

"What Johnson?" She laughed. "You too scared to attack a girl?" I raised an eyebrow before grabbing a pile of snow and making it into a shape; then, I chased after her.

She ducked, squealing.

"Come on Potter, take it like a man."

She scowled, and aimed another snowball at my head.

"Or a woman. Whatever you prefer."

I chucked another at her, but it hit Charming in the head. "0i, Parker! Get out of the way!"

"Nope." He yelled, chucking a large chunk of snow at me

We chucked snow at each other in the most ridiculous, careless way. Chatty was sitting on the floor watching us and shouting "don't hit me, don't hit me." Never the less, we did.

We fought girls against the boys, yelling like maniacs in the silence of the grounds. Chatty went for my legs while Clever chucked snow at me. Charming, seeing that I was being attacked unfairly, tackled Clever, who squealed and tried to kick him.

He used the opportunity to dump her in a snow drift, and then regretted it as she grabbed him and pulled him down with her, until he was distinctly more covered in snow than she was. Unfortunately for him, for this to be true he had to be completely buried with the exception of his head. I managed to dig him out before he caught hypothermia, but Cheeky and Chatty spent the whole time pelting us with snowballs

Of course, it would be at the exact moment that I finally got him unburied that an incredibly high-speed snowball hit him in the head and knocked him staggering backwards into another patch of the snowdrift. It took me a while to realise that it was in fact completely deliberate and cunningly planned, but I did know that throwing any more snowballs at the two girls would be a very bad idea.

I offered Charming my arm to help him up, but he was looking somewhere else, a dazed expression on his face. He reached up, but instead of taking my hand, pointed somewhere to the left (or right. I don't know). I followed the finger, and saw what I wondered how we had not noticed it earlier.

A large, steep, white slope.

I may have screamed.

* * *

10 minutes later, we were all hurtling down it, aided by Clever's waterproofing of our cloaks, and the higher than anticipated time it took due to the fact that steep, snow-covered hills are actually very hard work to climb. When we reached the bottom, I think she was planning on installing a ski-lift.

Of course, it being a steep- snow-covered slope, we stood no chance of getting down there in one piece. I was the first to fall; having spun around some time ago, I now went over an unexpected bump, landed on my back, did a couple of backwards-rolls down the hill, and rolled on my side to a stop, still halfway up it. There were no fatal injuries, I was fairly sure, but that snow was jolly cold when you got it inside your cloak.

Clever, with her typical clumsiness, was next to fall, and rolled the whole way down, stopping when she hit a snowdrift at the bottom. Judging by the "Wheeeeeeeeeee! This is fun!", nothing too bad had happened, but with her you could never tell.

Chatty and Charming, now having built up a lot of speed, had still not worked out how to brake or steer, and so crashed into each other and came hurtling down in a tangled mess until they were stopped by Clever's snowdrift, fortunately a different part of it to the bit she was in.

"We are not going back to the hospital wing, we are not going back to the hospital wing," I repeated to both myself and them as I stumbled back down the slope to where they lay, not obviously damaged. If we had to go back there again, I was fairly sure that Madam Turpin would kill us all, as would I.

"Relax, Cheeky. Don't panic," came Chatty's for once calm voice. "None of us are dead, are we?" The other two shook their heads, but before actually testing themselves for injuries. Clever poked the other two, and when they yelled "OW!" in response, happily proclaimed that neither of them had concussion or hypothermia, they were both conscious and breathing, there were no broken bones, and neither of them had gone into shock or sustained excessive blood-loss. She was also apparently fairly sure that there were no sprained or twisted joints, or any cuts that could not be fixed with a plaster, but she could be mistaken on that one. After I glared, she corrected that analysis to all was fine, but everyone was a bit annoyed at having had to stand up and be poked repeatedly, which she assured me was necessary, and important for me to undergo too.

**

* * *

**

Chatty's POV

Later that day, it stopped snowing for long enough for us to be able to go ice skating. Scampering down the slope for the last time, we went inside, only to be hit by warm, dry air as soon as we opened the door. We were frozen by that time, and Clever had to keep reminding us that she was "fine, just fine."

A sweet smell of freshly cooked bread and roasted chestnuts made my stomach growl. I had barely eaten anything all day- only a few slices of toast sometime, when Cheeky had exclaimed that he was going to die of starvation if we didn't get him inside and feed him.

I practically had to drag my friends away from the corridor to the kitchen; their glowing, drooling faces proved my theory- they eat too much. "Come on you guys!" I wailed. "We need to find the skates!"

Moaning and groaning and practically furious with me; they followed.

We ended up at a corridor on the second floor. The corridor, empty as it was, seemed lonely and cold, and there was a long stream of water leading up to where we were standing. _Oops. It seemed like we had left a little something for the caretaker to clean up…_

Charming dug around in the cupboard, whilst I waited, tapping on the wall, impatiently. It was full of all sorts of games, skis, sledges and activities, both muggle and wizard.

"Ah-ha!" He cried accomplishedly, and produced a box entitled "skates- ice." After chucking them down at our feet, and rubbing his hands free of dust, we set about finding skates that fit.

Charming's expression when he was given a pair was priceless- he seemed utterly confused as to what it was. He hesitantly put his skates on, groaning.

"Why do we have to do this again?" He asked, whilst I rolled my eyes.

"Cause it is fun. Now put these socks on" I chucked him a pair "so we can go."

"But it is a _girly _sport."

Cheeky glared at him. "FYI, Candyfloss," Candyfloss being Charming's new, unofficial nickname, due somewhat to his hair and what had got into it the last weekend, "it is not a girly sport. Many of the male specimens also participate in the wonderful act of skating."

Charming rolled his eyes. "Alright, Pineapple-Head," which was Cheeky's new nickname, apparently.

Charming pulled on his socks, slowly laced the skates on, and trembling, tried to stand up. "Don't put the skates on indoors!" I yelled, scaring him and causing him to (arms failing around) to fall (hard) on his butt.

"You could have told me that _before _I spent ten minutes of my life lacing, tying and pulling these skates on!" He slammed them back down on the floor, glaring at the innocent black skates, which now looked bedraggled and scuffed. A lace was snagged and ruined, and the sole was damaged. Sighing, I handed him a new pair and his old shoes and we raced down the stairs.

We arrived at the lake. Its clear, crystalline surface stretched off the edges of the forest. It was smooth, ice cold and covered in a thin layer of snow. It was beautiful.

I pulled on my skates quickly, and stepped on to the ice. Near where we lived at home, there was an ice skating rink, all year round. At winter they set up a special one outside, decorated with trees and decorations- it was so festive and pretty. The grounds here looked perfect, coated in snow, but they were no where near as festive.

I usually went skating several times a month, with my family or by myself. I'd even had lessons once. I had a real passion for skating.

This ice was tricky to skate on- and dangerous- but I was smart and advanced enough to skate easily round. I looped it twice, and returned back to meet my friends.

"Perfect," I grinned.

Clever and Cheeky were slow; hesitantly stepping on to the ice. They had both been skating before, but not on ice like this. Charming had his skates on, but he was nervous, his cocky act gone when he was asked to skate,actually _skate._

Clever slowly moved around me, and began to skate. "Eeek." She squealed, and she slipped a bit, but miraculously pulled herself up and carried on skating. Clever was getting incredibly clumsy as the days went on; she nearly always crashed into things or dropped stuff…

Cheeky skated steadily. When asked, he replied that his sisters loved it, and as he was the only boy in the house, and legally unable to stay at home alone (because of the last time, when he blew up the fridge and blamed it on the cat) he had to go with them.

Charming meanwhile was another matter. Summoning up what must be ALL of his Gryffindor courage, he stepped onto the ice and began to slowly move his feet, in the step-by-step childish way that beginners do. He began to more steadily after the first few feet, and over-cockily began to skate.

"HA!" He cried. "This is easy."

He moved into the wet centre of the ice, where even I hadn't skated. His feet slid out in front of him, and he fell on his butt, on the cold hard ice, with a thud. After trying several times to clamber up (and failing) I took pity on him and skated over. I pulled him up.

"There we go." I said, smiling. He scowled back, more embarrassed than anything else.

"I was doing fine by myself."

"Oh really?" I raised an eyebrow. His scowl deepened. "I'll help you." I took his hands and skated slowly round the lake. He had a worried expression on his face the whole time, but I think he began to trust me once we got round a couple of times.

Clever and Cheeky were racing round, skidding faster and more confidently now. It seemed that Clever wasn't such a clutz on ice after all.

By the time the sun had set, we were all so tired we could barely walk. We trooped back to the castle with our skates behind us; frozen, wet, cold and starving. But none the less, it was a great day, and the week that followed proved just as good.


End file.
